I kinda like the thrill of getting things cheap also being able to help my parents, sister and family and my brother and sil while I am here for the summer..not to mention being able to save a TON by taking home things from here!
I just sent my niece home with three bags of stuff for college!!
plus what major extras I have we have a yard sale and I make some money from it to getother things we want..it all works out in the end.

I can understand how you feel. My family grew up poor. We had 9 kids. YEA LOTS!!Just remember TOOTHPASTE goes bad.

Hoarding, believe it or not, is actually a psychological issue. I have a family member (actually 2) who hoards things. She does give a lot of away but she buys, and buys, and buys. She buys things she will never use with the thought "It's on sale. I may use it one day". The house is so full of junk it is unreal. Her husband made a comment about putting everything next to the road if she "goes to glory first" - she didn't speak to him for 3 days! It was actually quite funny!

So, in my experience, hoarding is buying excessively things you do not need and will never use. If you have things that have been sitting in piles for years - it's hoarding. If you buy them and use them, give them away or sale them it is stockpiling.

I know how you feel, though. I am terrified of becoming a hoarder - I am a borderline one but so far have kept it under control.

Good luck!

I have a spare bedroom which I turned into a pantry. I have quite a bit of a stockpile of food,
cleaning supplies and other things. When freinds or relative come over they almost always leave with a bag of things they can use. Since it is just my husband and me I share when I have too many extras. (I consider too many is when they might expire before we can use them) They always appreciate it. My daughter says she loves coming home for a visit because she always gets to take a lot of goodies home.

I kind of agree with you. When I was younger and in college I was flat broke. I'm talking no money at all. So now it does feel a little strange to be able to have 10 boxes of tampons, when before I would just use toilet paper. Gross I know. But yes, I know what you mean, but just be thankful you are in a position to have things for yourself and to help out others.

Are you my sister?? Seriously, my sister and I could have written that about our Mother. She was a packrat to the utmost and saved EVERYTHING and hoarded everything!!

My siblings and I all went through my parents house back in the spring to clean stuff out now that Dad passed away a few years ago and Mom got put into a nursing home due to alzheimer's and couldn't care for herself... plus the house was so old it was falling down literally. I found a pair of heehaw overalls in one of the rooms that was mine when I was little!! I am not kidding! I am 40 years old now and I remember wearing those Hee Haw overalls when I was 7!! My 8 year old promptly snatched them up though to wear around doing farm chores and stuff.

That is exactly my plan. While I know they could get more bang for the buck if I just gave them money, (which we can do even without gifting our supply), the reason I have the stockpile is the fun and challenge of getting things with my coupons and good prices. I guess maybe call it the thrill of the hunt. Like the rest of y'all, DH and I do not need 27 tubes of toothpaste, etc., but I can certainly pass them on. So I get the fun and they get the benefit - everyone wins.

My friend was here the other day and told me that she never had a real job outside the home while her children were growing up. I applaud all moms in that category more than I can ever say. She said that if a mom really, really wants to be a SAHM, she can find a way, even though the cost of living was higher in their area than elsewhere. She did, however, clean houses one day a week when her husband was home to take care of the kids. Her grocery budget was rock bottom, as back in those good ole' days, there wasn't all the convenience foods, etc., so she was paying for basic ingredients, which usually are cheaper. It occurs to me now that a woman in her situation could easily take advantage of the yard sale method for making more money to help out. Just using coupons alone is obviously a great help, but to sell your overages for extra money should also be a big boost to help mom stay home and give her kids a good foundation to grow up with. More power to those who do it.

While this thread has been interesting reading it has also left me with mixed (almost painful) feelings about myself. I started the whole "freebie site" thing about 2 1/2 years ago when my house came out of the dark ages and we got a computer. When I was at first just doing freebies...I would order anything and everything...hell, it was free! I've gotten much more selective now, thankfully. Now I only order freebies that I and my household can actually use or that I can donate...I still order feminine hygiene products even though I am menopausal...I donate those to the women's shelter...I still order cat food samples even though our cat died over a year ago as I can donate those samples to our local Humane Society, etc.

About 6 months into the freebie thing, I met "Founder" who has turned into a wonderful friend. She turned me onto the whole coupon thing. I started out slowly...I would take a few coupons in a sandwich baggie to the grocery store each week...and was quite proud of my "little" savings. Then several months ago, she sent me a hot pink Meade binder complete with the baseball sleeves and dividers as a RAOK...lordy...I really got into coupons then....as in buying multiple Sunday papers and doing the internet printable coupons. Over the summer I really concentrated working on stock piling along with my normal weekly grocery shopping.

FYI...I grew up extremely poor with an alcoholic deadbeat step dead...basically my mom was a single mother to my sister and I. I left the house as soon as I was old enough to set off on my own and struggled like all kids setting up house for the first time. Then I meet my future hubby...no one can say I ever married for money...my soul mate turned out to be a plain old country boy who was trying to make ends meet as well. Nothing much has changed in twenty years...we are still trying to make ends meet, except now we are helping to raise our 3 year nephew and two mangy mutts whose soul mission in life is to eat us out of house and home...

Hubby is self-employeed as a handy man...we survive...but winter months can be lean when his work slows down. I babysit to help make ends meet. Don't get me wrong...we might not have everything we want, but as a rule we have most of everything we need. Still, there are weeks where it feels like we are robbing Peter to pay Paul.

Stockpiling and using coupons has really helped in more ways than one. I no longer worry as much as I use to about those "lean months"...I feel more secure about not having to do without.

But in all honesty I begrudge family members wanting to help themselves to my stockpile. I find it triffling to be honest...they don't want to take the time and effort clipping coupons etc...they find it easier to come to my house like it is some kind of drive thru grocery store. Borrowing a cup of sugar is one thing, but cruising my shelves is quite another...a helping hand is totally different in my book than a hand out. Hubby and I have had many a conversation about sharing my toilet paper stash for example...I might give you a roll for when you run out in a snow storm...but there isn't a chance of that snowball in hell of not melting than you are of getting that whole 12 pack of tp.

...I still can't figure out if I am a stockpiler or a hoarder...what do you good folks think?

bgpgirl, you don't sound like a hoarder to me, you sound practical. Plus, I know I've gotten use of your freebie posts, so you are helping others. I would totally annoyed if my friends and family shopped at my house.

I'm glad this thread got bumped, I've been worrying the last few days about the same things as the OP.

I used to coupon and buy on sales even as a kid starting to buy my own things. When I got married, I stretched a buck til it begged for mercy, I bought kid stuff at garage sales, stockpiled (but didn't really know it as that or that others were doing it). my ex thought it was ridiculous, he never understood how much we saved. He saved money in his own way, by not buying stuff he didn't need to begin with. When he spent though, he didn't look for good prices. I stopped after we separated, mostly because of being so busy. I moved to a smaller home I was sure I could afford should times get lean, I still shopped sales but little couponing and stockpile.

In a way, it felt good to stop stockpiling. Having too much stuff made me feel guilty. I donate outgrown clothes and toys or give them away, I stopped having garage sales. I put unused items from our home in the front yard with a free sign. We eat out (with qs), eat convenience foods, I do buy items that save me time. I take the kids on vacation but using good deals. I obsessively save for the future or retirement.

Over the summer, I helped DBF pack up his old clothing for Goodwill. We looked up the worth and kept a list for taxes. When I realized how much it added up to, even using the lowest suggested guidelines, I felt sick about all the money I had "wasted" by not even deducting donations on my taxes. I could have been doing so much more to help my family, kwim?

So I started keeping track of Goodwill donations, scaled way back on buying clothing even if it was a great deal and decided to try couponing again. My goal was too ambitious, though. I thought I'd become one of those woman who buy produce and can, who find recipes for whatever is on sale and make thrifty diners with some always frozen for later. I found this site, I bought a binder that will probably cost me more in chiropractic bills than in what I save.

The problem is, I'm just not that woman. I love saving money, finding the deals but I still hate and can't make myself want to figure out the last part. The frugal cooking, etc. I am not coming home from work to a meal I've pre-planned and is in the crockpout. A chicken breast, a potato and frozen veggie counts as homemade in this house. I'm sure I could do it but I can't get motivated. So I have guilt over that.

I shopped BF morning and hit CVS at midnight the night before Thanksgiving. I hadn't done stuff like that in at least 10 years. But the haul is bugging me. The cashier at CVS was helping people get the deals, I was so surprised at not having to go to multiple stores, that it threw off my plan. I spent too much OOP because I tried to do bigger transactions. I recouped the value in ECBs and in the amount of stuff I bought, but I feel unsettled.

I know I'm not a hoarder, I cannot stand clutter. I put away the stuff I stockpile right away or won't let myself do any deals until I do. I have enough storage space. I'm having fun giving stuff away to friends, co-workers, family and even my patients. I'm making plans for holiday donations of stockpile (so I don't have the guilt of spending cash I should've saved for my kids). My credit card statements (I charge everything to get cash back bonus) are lower than ever since starting here. I do most of my shopping on my lunch break so I don't drag the kids around. I'm hoping to have a garage sale with excess stockpile.

Yet having the stockpile and spending time couponing still makes me feel guilty. It's a stupid thing to worry about but I still do. My mom makes comments all the time that I've lost my mind buying stuff and that if I didn't I'd have more energy to be some sort of domestic goddess. But I know that's unlikely since I wasn't before, kwim? This way I'm helping people, helping my family and the thrill of good deals keeps me from spending on unnecessary clothing or purses for "fun". My ex saw my stockpile and thinks I'm still nuts . But my thriftiness over the last years has kept my family secure. I know I've saved much more for the future than him.

So sometimes I think I have a good balance between thriftiness and a willingness to spend on fun and timesavers. I'm enjoying the thrill of the chase in a harmless way that benefits us and others. Other days, I think this is a huge timewaster, that buying stuff you don't need even for free is stupid, that stockpile won't sell in a garage sale around here, that the value of donating is not worth the time and effort spent getting deals, etc, etc. That getting free boxes of tampons on Thanksgiving at midnight, that I no longer need but can save for my 9 yr old DD or give away, is the epitome of insanity. But then not making frantic plans for Kmart doubles because I just don't feel like it and want to hang with the kids proves that I'm not, right?

Ugh, I hope someone else understands this ambivalence.

Thanks Chickie...I've been a little down in the dumps today...your post made me feel not so so bad.

I am very close to crossing over to the dark side!

wow, I'm grateful this old thread was resurrected to help others and I have to say I've evolved a lot from when I first started this thread!

I find I could easily let couponing and shopping consume me and admittedly it did at first. I was missing out on important time with my family. I had to learn to balance both. I believe I'm serving my family and being a good stewart of our money in doing the couponing and stockpiling. Especially recently when I just haven't been getting enough hours at work I don't have to freak out because we have money saved and plenty of food to live off of and can skip the grocery budget for a while save perishables like milk, etc. It feels good, it really does.

abmitch, I just don't think there's any cookie-cutter way to couponing, stockpiling or taking advantage of sales, even when it's for things you don't need. You just have to do what feels right to you and what's good for your family. If it mades you feel bad or guilty just don't do it. It's an individual decision as to what's worth it, how much time you invest.

I agree, pugly. Being a good steward can't be underrated.

No matter what, when we bring home we are spending something: time or money. Since most of us have more time than money, it costs time.

Abmitch01, concentrate at what you are good at and don't worry about the parts that you aren't so good at.

You know that one thing principle: You can't be great at everything, so be the best you can at one the two things that you naturally excel at. I mean Tiger Woods is probably not bemoaning his poor basketball skills. He knows he's great at one thing and that's good enough for him.

If you are great at saving money, and at saving on buying things you need, then give yourself some praise and don't berate yourself because you aren't a frugal gourmet.

We can't be experts at everything but we can be pretty good at one thing.