[sytipton]

I am so tired of my kids annoying each other that I am about to scream. It is so stressful for me in the summer. One is 15 years old and the other is 8 and all they do is annoy each other.

My oldest loves to tease the youngest and the youngest gets so annoyed he hits or screams loudly. We went to the store to get a few things and before we ever got to the first aisle my oldest put his hand on the basket that the youngest was pushing and the youngest said I'm pushing the basket the oldest says you're such a brat and the oldest slaps the youngest across the face. We left immediately. It is so embarassing that I feel like I can't take both kids with me without something like this happening.

The oldest gets mad at me and says I always take the youngest ones side. I would think that a 15 year old would be old enough to not annoy an 8 year old.

My husband travels a lot so its usually just me with them. When my husband is here this does not happen unless of course, he's in his office outside in the garage.

I just want to run away during the summer. My husband says I don't make my oldest listen. I tell him to do something and he just flat out doesn't do it whereas my youngest will do it right away.

My husband feels I enable the oldest. He is usually the one who punishes him and then leaves and I'm supposed to enforce it.

I just don't know what to do.

[esquala]

Sounds like they need some chores.

For the older one, take away privileges. What does he like? I know for mine, its computer time. He needs to earn his computer time by doing chores. For yours, you could add in that he needs to act 15 and be an example to his little brother.

Oh, and leave him at home when you go shopping.

Also, you could talk to him about how he sees you taking younger brother's side. Ask him if he'd like to feel like you're not taking sides.....if the answer is yes, then tell him exactly what your expectations are.

All this is easier said than done, I know. Best of luck to you!

[cajungirl]

Slapping is just unacceptable. Take away privileges and stick to it.

[qrazy]

A few thoughts that come to mind. They need structure. A schedule of what the day and week will look like. Together times, apart times. Outside times, inside times, tv times, reading times, etc.
My girls are 11 and 13. If they have too much time on their hands, they get picky with each other. They are doing a bowling league with my parents, swim team, oldest runs cross country and they are doing summer training. Younger is doing volleyball and does some training. They both have summer homework for school. They both have chores. We have a lot of fun but they have work that is expected. I think you need a heart-to-heart with the oldest. I have girls and they are different than boys. Sometimes worse, sometimes better.
I would also find ways they can give back to the community. Visiting people at the assisted living places, helping with younger kids at church, etc. Helps get them outward focused. Good luck.
ps. have them join summer reading at the library. Tell them they get to earn electronics time by reading.

[adventure1]

Originally Posted by esquala

Sounds like they need some chores.

For the older one, take away privileges. What does he like? I know for mine, its computer time. He needs to earn his computer time by doing chores. For yours, you could add in that he needs to act 15 and be an example to his little brother.

Oh, and leave him at home when you go shopping.

Also, you could talk to him about how he sees you taking younger brother's side. Ask him if he'd like to feel like you're not taking sides.....if the answer is yes, then tell him exactly what your expectations are.

All this is easier said than done, I know. Best of luck to you!

Haha chores! That's exactly what my son received when he started giving me a hard time 2 days ago. He was complaining I was spending all my time with the baby and not doing anything constructive, so guess what...I made a list of inside/outside chores. Also included structured reading time/math problems and charity work. He earns $6 an hour. He griped for a few minutes until I threatened the almighty IPAD his Grammy bought him (to our dismay) this past x-mas. Working great so far.

Maybe the 15 year old could figure a way to earn some money this summer like cutting grass...

[amyw05]

Ha! Mine our 7,5 and 2 and let me tell you they are so bad at annoying each other. Especially the five year old! I'm thinking it has something to do with middle child syndrome I too am at my wits end! We have tried spanking, threatening, time outs, nose in the corner, grounding and taking away things. Nothing's worked. They are not out of control but still they are not great. A trip to the store always results in one of the three if not all three getting into trouble. Yes I know they are bored but with a high strung and very independent toddler going through terrible two's and the fact that we've moved so far out that the nearest gas station is 9 miles away we don't get to get them "involved" in the community We do church and when schools in we will hopefully be starting sports otherwise its just me battling them. I know where your coming from completely

[joshmamabear]

Originally Posted by adventure1

Maybe the 15 year old could figure a way to earn some money this summer like cutting grass...

since you mentioned cutting grass, DH taught DS 9 y/o to operate the zero turn lawnmower and he thinks its play so now our front and backyard are mowed and DH can do something else. Other chores? Forget it, he thinks everything is just difficult Okay then.....what about let's do math problems and practice cursive writing the whole day? That's the quickest way to make him do what I tell him to

OP, sibling rivalry may be a phase your kids are going through right now. Hopefully, it passes quickly and they can get along so you'll have peace.

[sytipton]

Thanks for all the advice. Most of those things I've already tried out to no avail. Taking things away does nothing. He applied for a job here but never got a call back.

You would think sibling rivalry wouldn't be this bad with the 7 year age difference.