[sarahrn276]

Hi!
I was just wondering if anybody knows if there is a group on AFC for single moms. I have tried to search for one & couldn't find one, but may have overlooked it. If there's not, could there be?

[Philly_Girl]

I don't think there is one

I'm a single mother if u ever wanna chat pm me

[jitters3783]

I'm a single mom too! You guys can contact me anytime if you want to!

[cpht]

You single Moms are more than welcome to use this thread to chit chat.

[cutepiglet83]

Hello... anyone out there!!! I am a single mom and need some advice. I have a 12yr old in 7th grade. This is his first year of middle school and is not doing so well. He did fine in grade school and didn’t have to worry much. I finally decided to check his grades on the parent online portal and nearly dropped to the floor. He was damn near failing every subject. The past few weeks I have been on his case and have seen some improvement. I then gave him some slack and allowed him to watch tv and play his games and such. Now I found out he didn’t do a major project. He lied about doing work and I feel like I am failing as a parent.
I work grave yard while his grandma watching him while I work. I spend time with him doing some work. I then see him improve and give him leg room again and he then again lets me down by not doing his work. I do see him working on school related stuff, but I now think he is b.s.ing me.
i have yelled and taken stuff away from him, but he seems to have that blank stare and that "whateva" thing about him. Screaming at him gets him going, but two days later it is back to the same thing.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Shoot, i have even prayed with him at times, asking God for help on his school work.
I am at my wits end and just want to cry. I hope this is just a mini phase. I know at that age my dad was always yelling at me for not have any common sense and for school work.
What do you guys think?

[Philly_Girl]

I would make sure to review his homework & assignments DAILY to stay on top of it.

My kids are 7 & 8, so I go through their bookbags every night.

I know you have to get sleep to prepare for your shift, but try to review his assignments before you lie down for sleep.

Have you talked with your son to see why he feel he isn't at full potential. Maybe he's struggling in school & don't know how to tell you.
Hope everything works out.

[hdmartin88]

Originally Posted by cutepiglet83

Hello... anyone out there!!! I am a single mom and need some advice. I have a 12yr old in 7th grade. This is his first year of middle school and is not doing so well. He did fine in grade school and didn't have to worry much. I finally decided to check his grades on the parent online portal and nearly dropped to the floor. He was damn near failing every subject. The past few weeks I have been on his case and have seen some improvement. I then gave him some slack and allowed him to watch tv and play his games and such. Now I found out he didn't do a major project. He lied about doing work and I feel like I am failing as a parent. I work grave yard while his grandma watching him while I work. I spend time with him doing some work. I then see him improve and give him leg room again and he then again lets me down by not doing his work. I do see him working on school related stuff, but I now think he is b.s.ing me. i have yelled and taken stuff away from him, but he seems to have that blank stare and that "whateva" thing about him. Screaming at him gets him going, but two days later it is back to the same thing. Does anyone have any suggestions? Shoot, i have even prayed with him at times, asking God for help on his school work. I am at my wits end and just want to cry. I hope this is just a mini phase. I know at that age my dad was always yelling at me for not have any common sense and for school work. What do you guys think?

Don't give up!! My son was the same way in middle school and high school and it was exhausting. I tried taking things away and letting him earn them back with grades & completed assignments which didn't work. I tried bribing by taking him to guitar lessons if he did what he was supposed to, which didn't work. I talked to him about how difficult it would be to get into college, he didn't believe me. You have to find the thing that motivates him and that can definitely be hard! I also set up rewards based on grades & homework. For every A, he got paid a certain amount plus he earned so many hours of game playing/tv watching, for every B he earned a lesser amount of money & tv time and for a every C even less. For every missing assignment or F, he lost money & time. I talked to the school counselors and his teachers for suggestions too.

[Jakejake]

If you can't remember to check the online parent portal daily, I think you can set it to automatically send you an email daily with grades. If your school is using powerschool and you need help setting that up, I could probably figure out detailed instructions for that (I'm a teacher with administrator rights to our district's powerschool system).

Also, depending on the teacher's schedule they may be updating grades daily or weekly. I normally get some done during the week, but my big grading push happens on the weekends. I have parents who occasionally email to check if their kid has turned something in, and even though sometimes it can be a minor pain to keep checking their work and responding, really I'd much rather have that than a parent who seems hands off while their student is failing.

You can also email the teacher to ask if they have a homework blog so you can see which assignments are due soon. All my assignments are online.

A lot of students might freak out about this, but I think it's reasonable if they have to finish an assignment, to pull their phone (or tv, ipod or computer access) and tell them they can have it back as soon as their work for the night is done - and to clarify that you aren't doing that as punishment, but to help them be successful because you can see they are getting distracted.

[cutepiglet83]

Thank you all for you suggestions. I am working on moving my sleep schedule around to spent more time with him on his homework. When i actually sit with and do it he seems perfectly fine. Maybe that is why I trust him and know he understands what i going on in class. I know he is not a dumb kid, just lazy. I may have given him too much without him working for it. I need to break that little cycle. He is a good kid, very respectful and caring. At least I know this problem can be fixed.

Update:

He is doing much better in school now that I am more on top of him about his work. The after school tutoring has been working and he got his math up from a D+ to a B by the end of the trimester. His other grades went up to as well. There are still a couple that are F's. We are working on those, but those two teachers do not give many assignments and tests for him to improve his grades. A new trimester has started so he can get a fresh start (I think, havent been in middle school in a long time). I am not too sure if it carries over or averages in end? I need to ask.

Thanks again.!!

[Goddessoflubbock]

Remember also the transition from elementary to middle school can be difficult. Elementary tends to be a warm, homier feel while in middle school a lot more independence is expected. Email his teachers and ask what they see.

You may have to stay on top of him every day all year. Check grades online every couple days. Some teachers are slow to update giving a wrong impression.

My daughter was straight As honor society, then she started HS. She flunked 2 of 3 AP courses the first six weeks. She's back on track. Part of the problem was a new circle of friends. Something else to check on.