[EMunion777]

This is kind of a random topic I guess. So my husband and I are thinking that we want a very big family... well possibly 6 kids. We are pregnant with only our second so I guess it would depend on how things go with 2, then 3, and so on.

For those of you with 4, 6, 8, or however many kids (just big) what tips and advice can you give someone? Our families think we are crazy but we absolutley love children.

So some questions... do both of you have jobs or does one of you stay home? Do you homeschool your large family? What are some tips for being frugal if you have any? Do they share rooms? Do you have a family (shared) closet? Do you go on trips? (Husbands family is halfway across the country and we visit every other year. Wonder how we'd manage with 6 kids). Hmmm... that's all I can think up right now. I have experience with teaching preschool age and had considered homeschooling... but 6 kids? I don't know. I'm also currently a stay at home mom and my husband and I like it that way. He has a pretty good job and is full time in college (gi bill pays for it) for aeronautical engineering. A job like that would bring n the big bucks. Just hope that in this economy he'll be able to get a job.

So yeah... that's about it. Just throw all your thoughts on your big family and tips and hints and stuffs. Pleeeease.

[gdaniel5]

Having a large family is a personal choice but I can speak from BEING in a large family and the advantages/disadvantages. I personally have 3 kids (all grown now) and can tell you it was extremely expensive raising three kids through college..when our kids were young i was a SAHM and my husband was a long distance trucker making really good $$$..later on after my kids were older; I returned to school and got my Bachelors degree and secured a good paying job and part of the time I worked fulltime and part of the time I did not..but it is staggering at the costs involved in raising kids these days, but it can be done on one income with a lot of sacrifices. One word of advice I have for you is to make sure you have the job skills to support yourself and children in the awful event that you have to for a variety of reasons. in today's economy it's financial suicide for both parents to not be equally equipped in bringing home the bacon; should the need arise...if you never need the skills, fine...but I see so many women struggling when things go wrong that are completely out of their control ie illness/layoffs/etc

Now I'll give my perspective on being raised in a larger family (6 kids). I was the youngest and have had the experience of sharing a room with TWO other sisters and then having the room all to myself..it was fine both ways but really cool to have my own room as a teenager. Money was tight in our family and both of my parents worked after i was born since there was always an older sibling available to watch me so a perk here is built in babysitters when you have the larger families NONE of my siblings were given a car to drive but in that era; hardly no one had their own car so not an issue..we all pitched in and did chores around the house and cooked meals. main reason I learned to cook so young was the house rule was: if you don't cook..you clean up. I hate washing dishes by hand and for that reason have had a dishwasher almost my entire married life. we grew a HUGE garden and everyone was expected to help in the garden..we raised pigs to slaughter for meat during the winter..we canned/froze a ton of veggies as well....we did not coupon back then but I couponed as a young wife/mother so your couponing skills will certainly keep the family fed and supplied with HBA items..Family vacations did not happen but there were tons of huge family get togethers with my cousins, etc..and I went to summer camp..later on I rode the train to Florida with my Mom to visit my Aunt during the summer..and because I had older siblings I was able to vacation with them after they moved out/got married. There are huge age gaps between me and my siblings (7-14 years) so by the time I was 4, my older brother had joined the Army and gotten married...you asked about closet space? that was a mess for sure...imagine three girls sharing ONE tiny closet???? I recall most of my clothing (since it was smaller) was folded and put in drawers so the older sisters could have closet space. and since there was such an age gap; I NEVER wore hand me downs...lucky thing but my mom can sew like an expert and made most of our clothing too...my biggest piece of advice is to not depend solely on your husband for your source of income...this economy is like a landmine with landing/keeping a good paying job proving to be harder to do with each passing day.

[rgyman]

I have 7 kids and people thought I was nuts but I love kids. My husband works and I been a stay at home Mom since the first one. I have always done couponing and with 7 kids you need too. My oldest has his own room and then it two, two and then the two girls share a room as I have 5 boys 2 girls. We have moved 21 times in 19 years and getting ready to move 22 and it will just turned 20 years when we move. It has been great for the kids to know they always have each other until they get to know other kids. I did home school the oldest but he is very smart and got bored in school and they didn't know how to handle it. He is now 16 will be 17 in Jan. and if he can get all the classes he needs he will Graduate in May. The other children love school and loving being around kids so we let them go. I have 2 in the gifted program and all but one is a Straight A student. The one that not has to work hard for his and he gets A and B's so I can't complain. It always busy around here but I don't think I would have it any other way. Like you I always wanted a large family. Hope that helps.

[Qponmomof4]

We have 4 kids. When they were younger my hubby was a SAHD for awhile since I make more money. Then we switched to working opposite shifts. Hubby worked at night delivering pizza and I worked the day shift in the hospital as a nurse.

To save money I've always clipped/ use coupons. I also like to shop at the Goodwill or thrift stores for clothing.

[NORTNEY]

I'm the mom of 7, two of them still at home. They range in age from 13 to 32. I will tell you that your husband will need to be an engineer.... My husband had an MBA and always had a good job. I stayed home after the first one was born and while his salary was more than adequate to cover our expenses. My husband to quote you "made the big bucks" as you expect yours to after he graduates. However, after supporting 7 children the expenses added up and we lived comfortably but not lavishly.

We live(d) in a low cost of living state (Tennesse) so our dollar stretched far. We bought a large house (4200 sq. feet) after the first three kids so bedrooms were never a problem nor were bathrooms as we had 4, but the utility bills of $500 + a month certainly made your realize how many kids we had. We always had at least an 8 passenger car when they were all home. The kids always played organized sports, musical instruments, or whatever their interest was and we went on a big vacation (usually Disney) about every 2 to 3 years. As for education most of my kids went to public school, but one went to private and one was homeschooled. Their education depended upon their needs. The same goes for college....5 of mine are adults and out of the house and one got a free ride based on academics and the others received help from home and worked. Their college education, like their earlier education depended on their abilities and needs. Some went to 4 year universities, some went to 2 year community colleges and some went to trade schools.

I shopped conservatively and couponed (not as much as now...isn't that ironic...). I bought all their clothes and tennis shoes on sale and I tried to make things last and we were able to do it. I would have untilized yard sales and thrift shops but they weren't as prevalent then. Raising a large family is wonderful and I'd tell someone if you think you can do it good for you. However, I'd also tell them, yes it can be done on any income and there are definitely more frugal than I am. It is however expensive and anyone who says it isn't must know something I don't.

The other thing to think about and make sure you have in place is that if you have a large or a small family, make sure you plan for any unexpected life changes. In my case when I was 39 and our youngest was 5 months old, my husband passed away unexpectedly. I had 7 children ages 19 to 5 months. Fortunately we (actually he) had planned for our family and that planning allowed me to continue to stay home with my children and raise them as we'd planned to. This is probably the most important thing to do as I've seen a lot of women with both big and small families who haven't had the ability to do so. I think it's doubly important when you decide to have a large family....because in all honesty I could have returned to work as a nurse but between daycare, mortgage, etc. my salary wouldn't have covered it.

[tharte36]

I have 5 kids 14, 12, 7 & 7month old twins all boys. I think everybody else has given you great ideas and such. But I'll tell you the one mistake we made not expecting to have the twins is spoiling the older 3. It's hard when kids are use to a certain life style and then it changes suddenly. But since you know you want a big family just start living like you already have it. We use to be able to go out to eat,.order pizza, past 2 yrs go on week long vacations, had alot of their wants met. Well the twins are here now and only daddy works now so all the extra money is gone. I don't know if I'm getting across what I mean. I just feel bad for my kids because their life style changed so drastically over a couple months. But I love all my kids and wouldn't change where we are for anything in the world. If it is what you guys want go for it and you can make it work.

[Elle13]

Love reading all the posts! Very inspiring to hear all the great feedback on large families. I only have 1 son right now & have been contemplating another.
We have always been tight financially, but I chose to only work part time and hubby & I work opposite hours. This makes it so our son is always with one of us. (Makes it easier not having to scramble for a babysitter- which we couldn't pay for anyway).
If larger families can stretch and make it work, then it gives me some hope I can on a smaller scale.

[Goddessoflubbock]

Working opposite shifts is a great way to go. I only have 4 kids, but they are spread apart (32, 31, 18, 14). With the last two DH and I worked opposite shifts the whole time. I believe it helped our marriage too - we enjoyed our time together that much more!

People think I must have a huge Swiss bank account bc we never paid daycare and we never buy a car except for cash. Fact is most years we eeked by and wouldn't have made it otherwise!

[joshmamabear]

My mom is 11th in a brood of 12. Her nephews and nieces are spread out in different states and mom is now the matriarch of the clan. I see the advantages of a huge family like hers compared to my dad's side of just 3 and all of them are now gone. Our relatives on my dad's side aren't as closely knit as those on my mom's side which I can say, is solid. I have visited them in different states and DH and my kids are in awe of the treatment we got from my cousins, many of whom are well off and doing good in their chosen fields. He can't believe the hospitality; he has a lot of respect for people of third world countries. I guess we strived harder to reach our goals because the generation that's now here in the US lived through Martial law. For this reason, we give back as much as we can to our homeland.

I love being part of a huge clan, we all help each other in good and bad times. It's always 'fiesta' atmosphere when we hold grand reunions.

[Aradia_Silvermoon]

My best friend has 5 kids and her and her husband manage real well. She's an RN and he works at GM when he isn't deployed (active Military). They live in a 3 bedroom duplex with 3 girls sharing a room, the older teen girl has her own room, and their son sleeps with her. She used to clip q's but now says she doesn't have the time but she shops sales, price matches, and stockpiles like crazy. She goes to yard sales and thrift stores for the majority of their clothing and toys. It's not easy but it is doable and she makes the kids help her with chores and I help out when her DH is deployed.

Sometimes when I find a good deal i'll call her and ask if she wants any and she'll often reimburse me.