[sfombom]

My 10yr daughter as been really acting up lately and I have just been yelling at her to stop but she just keeps on acting up, how should I punish her?

[joshmamabear]

Has there been any changes in events/situations in your lives recently? If there is, talk to her about it; very often kids act ugly to cope with changes around them since they don't have control of situations. If there's no changes happening in your lives, it may be part of her adjustment to upcoming teen years. Instead of thinking about punishment, think of ways on how to communicate with her effectively w/o screaming/yelling all the time; when you scream/yell all the time, you get out of control but if you remind yourself YOU'RE the boss and relay that effectively, she will mind. If she doesn't, then take away privileges from her and see if she starts minding. Do not make empty threats you're not willing to follow through.

Last, but not the least, you need a lot of It's not going to be easy but you'll survive. There are times when I can't handle it, I let DH deal with my kids while I put myself on time-out

[LivLeeDavis]

First of all, don't yell at her.
Talk to her calmly and sternly.
Take away some privelage or game/thing that she enjoys until she's able to act responsibly.
I'd highly recommend buying a parenting book too because there are lot of tips out there for many different situations.

[sSsLiZARdSsS]

I have a DD11 and she has attitude galore! I think it's the age. I don't 'punish' her per se, but she does have consequences for her actions. It's important for me that she understands there are consequences to her actions. That's something that is true for everyone. I explain that everyone has to take responsibility for their actions and that includes accepting the consequences of such actions.

I usually take something away for a certain amount of time like her TV or laptop or MP3 player or all of them depending on the offense. It has to be something she uses a lot - something she'll miss. I once had to cancel her birthday party because of her behavior - that really made her think about what she said and did. She's also had to miss favorite activities at school as those are a privilege and not a right. She then had to understand it was her actions that let the rest of the group down and not a 'punishment'. After she lost those privileges she really toned down her antics.

ETA: I pressed send too fast, !

Good luck and it's tough. Hang in there!

[Goddessoflubbock]

For my DD who s now almost 13, I learned a long time ago the game of take away doesn't work. Instead there are certain chores we save for misbehavior. Yardwork, cleaning baseboards, the extras that I don't get to all the time

[sweety33]

Originally Posted by Goddessoflubbock

For my DD who s now almost 13, I learned a long time ago the game of take away doesn't work. Instead there are certain chores we save for misbehavior. Yardwork, cleaning baseboards, the extras that I don't get to all the time

this really works trust me i got 2 teen and one soon to be one...

[Alexdur85]

Google love and logic. They have some great videos on you tube.

[Goddessoflubbock]

If all else fails there's a book called 123Magic which has great ideas, it really helped with ODD issues which is way past disrespect!

[momabrown3]

Yelling at her will not help your problems.It makes them worse.I learned the hard way.I have a 13 &16 yr old dd's and a 11 yr old ds.Talk out your problems, it works.

[thebeaverclan]

I use consquence sticks and reward sticks. My kids are 13 11 9 7 and 7 let me tell you....they work WONDERS!!! I dont have anything on them that is to harsh but harsh enough that they learn quickly. Good luck!!

[tiyashrivasthav]

Always reward her for good work. It works.

[keylimepie]

A good long talk has always worked for me when my daughters were growing up. There were some pressures they were dealing with, that I did not have a clue about. So sitting down and just having a good talk worked well for me.

[Jakejake]

I like everyone's advice in this thread. It's can be very hard in the heat of anger to remember that we need to model the behavior we want them to have - which is talking reasonably even when they don't like how things are going, instead of yelling. I think kids pick our behaviors really easily, so when we escalate to yelling, they learn to do the same.

My daughter was great in general, but she had her moments. She lost a few privileges as a result. I made sure they all fell under the clear realm of privileges, not anything that could be interpreted as abuse (HARD labor, going without meals, etc.)

One thing I learned from kids at my school is a lot of them have work arounds to things the parents are pulling. Like going on the computer late at night when they weren't allowed because of punishments. One parent would take away the keyboard, but the kid secretly had a spare one. So if you go that route, think about shutting off the circuit breaker that affects your connection, or taking away the modem.

[tiyashrivasthav]

Don't yell at her. It doesn't work. One of the best ways to discipline your child is to reward him for his good behavior. Punishment may be the center of discipline, but you will need to keep your child motivated and encouraged to make sure that he is at his best behavior always, even when you’re not around him.