UGH...here We Go Again......

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  #1  
Old 02-15-2005, 09:42 PM
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UGH...here we go again......

Another one of my all famous rants on parenting of adult children...where shall I start this to where it makes some sense?

Ok, oldest son lives here at home with his girlfriend. he is 20, she is 18...he and his brother have a house in town that they purchased together, but, my 20 year old has a full load this semester at school and could not keep working the hours he was and maintain his GPA (which is a 3.85 BTW in comp science).....sooo to make a long story short, he and the girlfriend asked if they could move here for a while....so, of course, what is a parent to do? we said yes. Well, 18 year old girlfriend is the QUEEN of drama queens. Don't get me wrong, she is likeable, pretty and she has a job and goes to school...but, my household has been non-stop arguing, door slamming and chaos since they moved in...because, like I said she is the QUEEN of drama queens. I have a 17 year old daughter, a 19 year old son and a 15 year old son, my 15 year old son had moved in with my 19 year old and my daughter only comes home the evenings the drama queen is at work. this young lady has single handedly managed to drive a wedge between her and all my other children. At first, it was just my 15 year old that had a problem with her, and I just figured he had an attitude and she wasn't used to a baby brother. Then, my 19 year old had problems with her, and again I gave her the benefit of the doubt and decided he was just threatened because she was moving in on he and his brother's relationship.....But, then she and my daughter had a huge argument and I had enough. I informed her that I would not tolerate the atmosphere she was causing in my home...I told her that we treat each other with respect here and she needed to conform or they were going to have move out....I think it went in one ear and out the other. WELLLLLLLL...tonight the s**t hit the fan....my son was at the library and she worked, so my daughter came home...Aparently my 19 year old son's girlfriend and her mother were in a pretty severe argument, and my 20 year old son's girlfriend just happens to work with the other girlfreind's mother...ok, is everyone keeping up with this story......The other girlfriend's mother is an alcoholic and she called here and accused this girlfriend of telling some lies (which, by the way..she did tell)..so this girlfriend flies off the handle and starts cussing the mom on the phone...I come in and say "whoa, just hang up, she's drunk" girlfriend says, she is going to the other girlfriend's mom's house.....and I am thinking "oh boy"....so she takes off. Well, first of all, if that had been one of my kids, I would have never let them leave, but, she is not mine and there is not a lot I can do. Well, of course, in spite of myself, I am worried about her and hoping she does not go to this woman's house...WELLLLL.....everyone still keeping up? She went to my 19 year old son's house and got in a fight with the other girlfriend, and my 19 year old kept his distance because he did not want to have to argue with his brother over the other girlfriend...ok, so now my 15 year old tells live-in girlfriend she has to leave and literally pushes her out the door...then he calls here and tells his daddy what happened....so now we are here worrying about a girl we don't even particularly like much at the moment....WELLLL....she finally calls and she is at her mother's and says she is not coming home because she is too upset, and I am thinking "yes, thank you Jesus" WELLLLL.......then my 20 year old coms home and calls girlfriend and says if she is not coming home, then she needs to come back and get her things because he is not playing these games with her anymore...he informs her that he did not just go through a year of hell with her parents for her to go back home. (another long story...she ran away from home and moved in with him because she told him that her parents were abusive) So...she ca e back here...dang it...I almost had her out. OK, now...I know that sounds mean, but goodness gracious, i was really looking forward to one night of peace and quiet...now they are arguing in bedroom..well, i should not say arguing..she is arguing, he is listening, I swear that boy either has the patience of a saint or he is really stupid...sometimes I wonder which.

OK, sorry for the parenting rant, just needed to blow some steam before I have to have a sit down with my son and explain that I know he loves her, but I cannot have this going on anymore....it breaks my heart because I know his grades will slip, but, if he wants her, he is going to have to find somewhere else to go...and his brothers are not going to let them live at their house. Which means more long hours at work for him....it is a shame, he knew exactly what he wanted before she came along, and it was fairly easy on him..now he is gonna have to join the ranks of all us other over worked exhausted grown ups and do it the hard way...breaks my heart...it really does.
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  #2  
Old 02-15-2005, 10:22 PM

RE: UGH...here we go again......

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ROFL at the way you tell a story. Call me if you want, I am up

Geez---and I was going to ask you when you first told the boys the "truth" about what those frisky animals are doing cause my oldest is starting to think they are not just playing

I think I will wait awhile and come up with a new game the doggies are playing!

I think I will freeze my boys right where they are---while I am still the only girl they really love, all the others are just "hotties". (like he even knows what he is saying, )
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Old 02-16-2005, 08:07 AM

RE: UGH...here we go again......

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My sympathies! Now that NSD is out of my house (another drama queen) :drama: it has actually been fairly peaceful. Skye still tries to stir it all up, but she is still young enough I can squash that.

Barb - as for the doggies playing games, Skye figured out what the hamsters were doing about the time the 3rd litter came along. Her only comment was "eeewww - gross"!
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Old 02-16-2005, 08:41 AM

RE: UGH...here we go again......

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Eldest son went to classes, drama queen has skipped school and is in her bedroom, DD was excited because when drama queen skips, she gets to take her own car to school and use drama queen's parking spot...so alas, for DD, story had a decent ending....go figure.
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Old 02-17-2005, 05:59 AM

RE: UGH...here we go again......

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Bless you..I was DD that lived thru stuff like(I survived fine) that when I was growing up..My brother..I had a step brother(another story)..Chaos.. the s*** still hits the fan all these years even after my brother got married and my parents divorced..we have up until about 3 years ago had ex-wife and still girlfriend problems and I am an adult and I have been in middle-not by choice( his girlfriends her mother was actually Rx addicted so she couldn't live at home) ..Boy all the things my mom,dad and step dad have done to help my brother and his girlfriend and ex-wife..You should get an award or at least a vacation and someone should say a huge "Thank You to you for all you do!!!" Parenting I don't think it ever ends...Now my mom worries about my brother's kids..but not as much now- I think he has grew up a lot in the past 3 years. Now I have teens and well who knows what I wil go thru..
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Old 02-17-2005, 10:45 AM

RE: UGH...here we go again......

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I have mangaed to have a private conversation with each of the 6 young people in the last 2 days...One a at a time I basically used the guilt trip on each of them...I changed my tune to accommodate each one's personality...EX. With My own DD I simply made it clear she is #1 to me as far as the girls go..and to quit being a b***h. With drama queen I played on her need for attention and gently explained she needed to pipe down because she was driving me nuts and I knew how much she thought of me and would not want me to think ill of her. With eldest son I just made it clear that he needed to shape up or ship out..and that if he loved drama queen he needed to pay a little more attention to her so she will quit pouting. Son #2 was easy...he is basically momma's suck up. Girlfriend of son #2.....told her she was the new one and she needed to learn how we operate...she is 2 months pregnant (not my son's, she came that way) and we seem to pay a lot of attention to her, I guess because she is momma's suck up's gf, I don't know, maybe because we are kind of excited over the baby thing, but, i told her to kiss and make up with drama queen, because drama queen is just kind of jealous of the attention she is getting. Youngest son...I just threatened him and that always works....so, for now, there is peace in the valley....and I informed everyone that I don't care who is mad at who, because my birthday is Sunday, and it will be all about ME and they will all go out together as a family and have fun whether they like it or not. BTW, drama queen and DD drove to school together this morning and did not even claw each other up on the way
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