Adult Child Parenting...UGH!!!

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Old 12-29-2004, 09:54 PM
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Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

ok, for those of you that are new here, I have 4 kids, ages 20, 19, 16, and 15..the two oldest have their own house, mortgage and all. Well, my 19 year old, Jerry, has been sleeping on OUR couch since the beginning of November. He is EXTREMELY cheap and his workplace is closer to my home than his, so he comes here everyday...basically, he has moved back home. My oldest son, whom is in college and has a live-in girlfriend whom is 18 just moved home about a week ago. He has decided he cannot work this semester and keep his grades up. Sooooo, he informed his brother he was not paying the bills any longer and they either needed to sell the house or rent it out. HELLO!!!! Mom and Dad put a big chunk of cash down on that house, and Mom and Dad pay the taxes and insurance...either way, on to my parenting issue. I have 5 kids in this house, 3 of which are adults and 2 that nearly are. I also hvae various other teens who stay here on a regular basis...ok, I want some feedback here. Are teenagers just mentally delayed or something??? I mean, here is an example...there are 7 sets of feet wadering these floors, if I say "Hey, I prefer you pull your muddy freakin boots off BEFORE you come in the house", would you not interpret that as "Hmmm, I should pull my boots off" Oh no, not these people. Now remember, my son has a 3.85 GPA, and is majoring in computer Science, he has an IQ of 154...EXCUSE ME.....Take off your freakin boots!!! I came thorugh the kitchen a while ago and there are whole mud treads in the floor, all the way up the staircase!!! ARRRGGHHHH!!! I want to know who of you have adult children and how hard do you smack them with a ball bat, frying pan or whatever before they register stuff in their brains??? TIA, Kelly.
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  #2  
Old 12-30-2004, 06:51 AM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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Still smacking NSD but at least she is not living in my house anymore. (She's 19 now.) As for getting the message across, invest in a new cast iron pan, an aluminum ball bat and a box of the fat 8 count crayons. Some combination of these should work. Also, start charging the oldest 2 for living at home again - if they find it is not a free ride, they may change their minds.
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Old 12-30-2004, 07:58 AM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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UGH!!!
I have 3 daughters. The oldest is 20. She moved out summer of 2003 into an apartment with her boyfriend. She had a beautiful baby boy--joy of my life! Anyway, it didn't work out living on her own. Bills? Who wants to pay bills? So, now I have her and baby back in my little house. I refused to let the boyfriend move in. I won't get started on that. Anyway, we are now in the process of getting ourselves into more debt because we need to put another bedroom on the house. We really don't have an inch of extra space and I'm ready to run away. My dh is a saint. We never have time for each other because I told my daughter that she had to work and go to school if she moved back, so we are raising another little one. He keeps us going and one little smile is all it takes to make me feel like it's all worth while. I just wonder when it will all end. Daughter is a pain. Leaves dishes, laundry, crap laying around. We've had our differences of opinion about child rearing. I try not to interfere, but I can't help it when I don't like what I see. Sticky situation. Decided to go visit my mom in London in a few weeks. Don't know how I'm going to leave for 12 days, but I'm doing it anyway! Okay, rambling now. I wonder every day how kids (and my friends have similar problems with 30 year olds!) don't feel the same obligations that we felt. I got married at 19, had my daughter when I was 20, bought a house, etc. I NEVER asked my parents for anything. My dh wouldn't take a dime and it wasn't easy, but everything that we have we bought with our own money and the bank :-) So, I wonder how the next generation is going to be. God help their parents! Diana
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Old 12-30-2004, 10:08 AM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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Kelly if you figure out a good weapon lmk so I can get one for my mom! I don't have an adult child at home (unless you count my inconsiderate DH, zip it Dawn) but my parents are a good story here. I am the baby @ 26. My oldest brother who is 30 lives in their his with is 32 yo Fiancee'!! They have lived there for 11 years. My brother has taken the top story of my parents house and turned it into a "mini" apartment. THey pay no rent, they do not help with any bills NOTHING. My mom wanted new carpet and she changed her mind because my brother tramps through the house with anything and everything on his boots. He REFUSES (he said that) to take his shoes off in (get this) "his own house". My dad was out of work for 2 years and they almost lost thier house because my mom couldn't make it on her pay and not once id my good for nothing brother offer them even $3 for a gallon of milk! To top it all off his fiancee' doesn't even talk to my mom! She walks past her like she isn't even there (long story, Fiancee' things her poop doesn't stink!) but my mom's washer, dryer and shower are good enough for her! %$@%!$#@%#!@%

My other brother is 29 but he can't live on his own. He has a seizure disorder so I'll let him stay

They also just unloaded my grandmother to a nursing home after 6 years of living with them. No one can care for her anymore.

SO! Are we taking up a collection for new cookware or what? :smileface
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Old 12-30-2004, 10:33 AM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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What's wrong with us? Anyone out there with older kids who doesn't feel "put upon?" When did we start letting our kids move in together without being married? Worse yet, when did we start letting them move back home? I have 2 more coming up. They seem to have more common sense than the oldest one, but God knows.....We need a support group! :kick:
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Old 12-30-2004, 10:44 AM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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Originally Posted by Dianaj64
"put upon?"
Percy's been put upon put upon put upon, Percy's been put upoon Poor ole Percy.

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Old 12-30-2004, 10:49 AM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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Oh HH!! I am donating $2 to the cookware fund LOL, LOL!!!!
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Old 12-30-2004, 10:51 AM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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I'll even add some wooden spoons (Dollar Zone 50% off). You caneat with them or beat the kids with them - your choice!
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Old 12-30-2004, 12:08 PM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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I must have done something wrong. When I was 21, I graduated from college, moved in with a friend's parents for a month (different state from where my parents lived) while I looked for a job and an apartment, got both, paid my own bills (ok, Mom & Dad did help out some...it wasn't a great job!), etc. When I was 22, I went to Graduate School, where I had a job, an apartment & a student loan (along with the full course load). When I was 24 I got a new job & a new apartment. Moved a few times, got married, moved in with DH into his Condo (which his parents did buy, but wait...). We bought a house and sold the condo (AND GAVE THE MONEY TO HIS PARENTS SINCE IT WAS THEIR CONDO!). My little brother on the other hand, moved into my parents' house after college & lived there with his girlfriend for several years, they broke up, girlfriend moved out of my parents house, NEW girlfriend moved in. When she became his fiancee, they moved into a rental house & got married. Now they have a baby and a new rental house, so I guess they've gotten it together...

I think my parents owe me some money. :rofl:
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Old 12-30-2004, 12:10 PM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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Oh HH!! I am donating $2 to the cookware fund LOL, LOL!!!!
You can PayPal to Allthesekidsneedafrigginlife@aol.com no credit cards please
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Old 12-30-2004, 12:11 PM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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Originally Posted by skyesmom
I'll even add some wooden spoons (Dollar Zone 50% off). You caneat with them or beat the kids with them - your choice!
you know where to send them!
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Old 01-12-2005, 01:53 PM

RE: Adult child parenting...UGH!!!

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WOO HOO...2 kids out..went back to house in Atkins..my 2 younger sons....3 TO GO!!!!!!
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