What To Do With A 2 Year Old!?

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  #26  
Old 09-09-2009, 06:53 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Originally Posted by Blue Angel View Post
123 Magic is what is working for us. What i have also done is I have gone to the thrift store and found some cool toys for cheap, I try to find toys that are handheld or has alot of buttons and is educational too. When I know I have to do alot of shopping like groceries I pull out a " new toy " and he is entertained with it and then when he is done I give him some snacks. As a treat I give him chocolate milk and some cookies or soy joy bar or crackers or his favorite which are grapes. So far it has been working for us. Good luck
I'm confused. Why would you punish him by giving him a soy joy bar? Poor kid has to choke down a soy joy bar after behaving in the store. What a shame.
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  #27  
Old 09-09-2009, 07:28 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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My little demon is 20 mo old and into EVERYTHING. His older brother is autistic so I was used to Austin being quiet and still. Kept to himself mostly. I was in for a rude awakening. Will is all boy and making up for both of them. Good luck to everyone, I'm ready to lose my hair. .
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Old 09-09-2009, 07:58 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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It's nice to know that we are not alone. I have a 2 year old and I don't even put him in the shopping cart because he will get out. I only take him if I am making a small trip and can have him in the stroller. Now that I have a new baby I have no idea what I will do I try to ignore him the best I can he is only 2 and when people give you those looks I just smile...either they don't have kids or have forgotten that their kids were 2 once!
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Old 09-09-2009, 08:17 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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I year you loud and clear! Mine are 14 months apart and right now are 16 months and 2.5 years. Shopping is pretty difficult especially since my 2 year old refuses to sit still in the cart and squirms her way out because she is so skinny no matter how tightly I strap her in. Then she runs wild thru the store and grabs everything. My 16 month old is now collapsing when he doesn't get his way and throws the most ridiculous temper tantrums right along with his older sister. It is funny sometimes and annoying other times. Last night while shopping my 2.5 year old pushed the shopping cart as hard as she could, sending my son flying thru the produce department (OMG) and I couldn't run after it very well because I recently messed up my knee/calf. The whole thing is comical really , so I'm right there with ya sista!

Oh here's a good story. My mom just sent me my old rocking chair from when I was a child and we just set it up this morning. Both kids are now pushing and shoving each other to get in it and it is more of a game of musical chairs from hell than anything , and when the other doesn't get in it fast enough they collapse and scream. Calgon, take me away!
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Old 09-16-2009, 06:22 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Oh, hon! SO NORMAL! I know it sounds stupid to say (because I have a wild *just turned two year old* myself) but be so happy he is wild and rambunctious - if he wasn't it would be time to worry a bit. My nephew was a very docile 2 year old - never acted out, never screamed ... and it turned out he had hearing problems and developmental delays ... until he was nearly 3, everyone just thought he was very shy and well behaved.

That being said ... my son acts like this sometimes too when I am out with him. I get extra frustrated because I work outside the home full time, and grandma watches him, so I don't always know what trick is working that week or day ... and it gives me that working mom pang of guilt on top of feeling embarrassed that he is carrying on, or running off on me, or whatever. Plus he has a speech delay, and doesn't always understand what we are asking him, so sometimes it is not his "fault" he does not listen - so I can't scold or punish.

The only thing that comes to mind though, is that evil man at the Walmart a few weeks ago (it was in the news) that slapped that poor little baby because she was crying. Whenever he cries in a store I start looking around to make sure that no one is looking crazy around me. It is a sad commentary on society that moms have legitimate reason to fear harm to their children for doing something that is natural and normal for a small child.

But, all that being said ... and I say this seriously. Backpack Leash. My son does fine on them and he hates holding hands too. If a stranger makes a snide comment, just say "My son enjoys walking and this is excellent exercise for him - I am preventing childhood obesity and promoting fitness. I am also keeping him safe from falls and injury, keeping him out of the way of other shoppers, and avoiding any chance of abduction. Do you still feel I am treating my child like an animal?" And say it with a smile, cause it's true.
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Old 09-16-2009, 06:29 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Originally Posted by sar1 View Post
I'm confused. Why would you punish him by giving him a soy joy bar? Poor kid has to choke down a soy joy bar after behaving in the store. What a shame.
Hahaha my sentiments exactly. I gave Liam a little chunk of one of those recently, and the face he made was priceless ... and not in a precious, "ain't that sweet" kind of way. It looked kind of like I imagine Elvis Presley would look while passing wind. The old Elvis in the jumpsuit. Just take a second and imagine ... it is a worthwhile image.
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Old 09-16-2009, 06:56 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Perhaps some information will help. The second year of life is the year we learn more than we learn the rest of our entire lives. This is also the time for personality formation. In other words, get a handle on it now; because, he will have the same disposition as a teenager. I am very inconsistent and always have been. I have never been a spanker. I believe in it but just never was able to make myself do it. My boys are 19 and 20 now.
Some information from my experience as a mother of a child who used to throw himself down on the floor and scream and cry and act plum crazy at that age (and I worked peds for 15yrs)
1) he needs learning activities (books=read with him, toys, television shows)
2) these activities need to have interaction abilities (toys are fine-even building blocks create a knowledge of construction, destruction, uniformity, etc.)
3) every day take him outside (back yard, park) where fun moving rides abound (remember to laugh with him when he is silly or just having fun-he needs to feel connected)
4) LET HIM SCREAM! Do not let him out of the cart. Tell him if he continues, you are leaving and will not bring him with you and DO IT! Leave a cart full of stuff. Do not take him with you the next time you leave the house-even if it is only to drive around the block a few times.
5) If he refuses to hold your hand (why is allowed? why don't you grab his hand and hold on to it? he is a lot smaller than you and something terrible could happen) Do not give him a choice. Let him scream. It is okay for him to scream. I feel like screaming a lot of times. Don't you?
6) My children grew up with a rule. One kiss and One hug and One I love you every day no matter what! Even if you hate my guts and I hate yours. As they have grown, my boys have never been embarrased to hug and kiss and tell me they love me-even at school in all of their years. They are in college at home and we all still abide by that rule!
Remember, it is okay to let your son scream bloody murder. If you ignore it (like my crazy acting son) he will stop. You have to be patient enough to wait him out. The activities will also help to lessen his poor behavioral patterns. His frustration will turn into learning experiences.
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  #33  
Old 09-16-2009, 07:37 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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5) If he refuses to hold your hand (why is allowed? why don't you grab his hand and hold on to it? he is a lot smaller than you and something terrible could happen) Do not give him a choice. Let him scream. It is okay for him to scream. I feel like screaming a lot of times. Don't you?
YES


But meanwhile, the handholding thing. I know what she is talking about - can grab my son's hand and hold it, and he will struggle and wiggle and act like a regular pain in the rump. It is just difficult, and he hates it if I try to force him. If I did this everywhere I would never get ANYTHING done. Meanwhile, since I have not "forced" the issue and gave him the opportunity to hold my hand while walking in safe places (walking trails at parks, the zoo, etc) - he has learned over time that holding my hand is a "treat" rather than a punishment. I still use the leash when it is necessary to keep him safe, and a cart or stroller is not an option.

I do agree though, my son does SIT in the cart unless I have decided this will be a good store to walk through. I usually hit the dollar section at Target first, and pick him something to play with - that can keep him busy for over 30 minutes. Of course, my kiddo is pretty awesome when it comes to behaving himself - one of my rewards for having an otherwise hard time in the game of motherhood.

Another big thing is to try to go to the store often (not an issue for any of us!) and try to make the trip at a "good" time for your kids ... not during mealtimes or naptimes, etc. ...

Make a routine out of shopping. Do things the same way everytime so they know what to expect. Always stop in the bathroom before starting to shop, always offer the toy right after he is seated in the cart, whatever ritual works best for you. A dry snack can work wonders too, though I have all kinds of issues about quieting children with food as a regular habit. Nothing worse than teaching them early that the thing for boredom is food!

I also notice Liam gets most bored when I get too involved in shopping and kind of ignore him a bit - make sure you keep talking to him and involving him in the shopping. I will ask Liam (although he does not talk and will not answer with anything but a shout and a point) which bottle of detergent he likes better or which bottle of milk he thinks is bigger ... I just do whatever I need to keep him engaged, and he seems to do ok most trips.

But holding hands, yeah ... that will NEVER happen in the store. My kid is lovey and huggy and would gladly let me carry him through the store ... but holding hands ... nope - he'd struggle against me until he broke my grip.

Oh, you know, I just thought of something else I do with tantrum like behavior (we've only had one honest to goodness tantrum in my book - where he was kicking, screaming and throwing himself on the floor - I know some kids do this many times a day, so I count myself lucky!) I NEVER ignore Liam when he throws a fit or acts out. I ALWAYS acknowledge the behavior, but I acknowledge it by telling him, very calmly, that he is being inappropriate and sitting down next to him (when possible) and offering him a hug. 90% of the time, when I do it immediatly when he starts to get upset, it works. He hugs me and cries a tiny bit or mutters. Then if he needed something he is calm enough to tell me/show me what it was, and if he was just being cranky, he has been given a chance to relax a bit. I think sometimes you end up acknowledging the tantrum by ignoring it to, if you normally would repond to your childs cries for other reasons.
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  #34  
Old 09-16-2009, 08:15 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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What a fun thread and very helpful/educational too. I have a 2.8 yr old DS...has issues but already in the E.I program. He's a tall kid and quite robust for his age. Whenever we go shop for groceries.. I have no choice but still put him in a stroller (if DH is with us.. he walks with him & hurrah for home deliveries) but still.. an impatient kid that he is.. we can only do so much. Living in a big city.. I have had my share of unpleasant remarks thrown at me. A nice, big smile is what I give back.. showing confidence that I am the mom and I know what's best for my kid. Only recently, he behaves (sits still most of the time beside me) when we're on the subway, unlike before when he will attempt to get out in each and every stop the train makes! Causes my blood pressure to rise! We are fortunate to live near a park.. I agree with the physical activities a child like him has to get each day. He's still a big napper so I'm lucky in that area.
Thanks coupon RN & to the other posters too. After I read your post coupon RN.. I tried to visualize what my kiddo would look like 15- 20 yrs from now.. still giving me "lab yu" hugs & kisses. Awww.
For the mean time... he's actually crying (more like hyena-like screaming) right now because his bike helmet is tight on him and I refuse to let him wear it till I buy him a new one. Ay-yay-yay!
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Old 09-16-2009, 12:15 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Wow, I only read through 1/2 of the stories and boy did they make me feel better!! My DD is 2 1/2 and is a hand full, but I can not imagine if she was a boy . DS is only 13 months so we will see with him but he is more mild tempered and lovable so I hope he is better!

So here is my advice since I understand the whole shopping issue and about everything else too.

Consistancy is key: I have been a constistant strict mom since day 1 and it helps a lot. Really it is as simple as making your yes mean yes and your no mean no and no wavering from your decision. I always think before I say things because I have to willing to act on the consequence I just gave for an action.

Time Out: I actually started timeout when she was 15 months and there are days she is in there 10+ times a day. Hitting her brother or any hitting or throwing is an immediate time out. Acting up, not listening etc is a warning, count to 3 to stop the action and behave or straight to time out.

Warning example for walking on the couch: Kiera you have 2 choices, you can either sit nicely on the couch or go to timeout; which would you like to do and then she makes her choice. If she decides to continue the behavior then she has to live with her consequence. I do not like to spank, but I do at times if that is all that will work.

Keeping Busy: I have found that if I include her in cooking, cleaning or just keep her in activities, walks, park etc it wears her out and she gets in less trouble.

Attention: I make a point to get her attention when she is not doing something I want her to do. I tell her eyes and she looks at me then I let her know what she is doing is wrong etc. It really does help.

Praise: I always thank her when she is being nice, sharing, eating well, sitting nice, playing nice etc.

Shopping: This one is hard because I do not even have it down yet. I did when DS was in the baby seat still, but not now. I usually try and find what DD calls the cool cart so she can ride in the front car and I can put DS in the cart in front with me. I always have my list/coupons and money ready so I can get in and out. I explain to DD what I expect of her and tell her the consequences if she is bad and I reiterate it many times and praise good behavior. If I am in a smaller store with a little cart I put DS in the seat and have DD her push the cart, this is really hit or miss. Sometimes it works and other times it is a huge fight/meltdown and I wonder why I went in the first place! I try and keep her busy helping me and will have her help me find fillers she might want in the clearance. Sometimes I carry her and push the cart. I can usually tell by her mood what it may be like and on difficult days I do not even attempt and on good days I only go to max of 3 stores. If I go to an area that has multiple stores I need I throw them in the double jogger and we walk to all the stores. Some eimes I walk 7 miles to the store and back adding in th park to help the day. Like I said it all depends.

Reaction: I recently noticed how my reaction can really fuel the fire. DD and I are a lot alike and we butt heads a lot so I just try and take that out of the situation. I try not to allow her to see that she gets me so angry. This is another aspect that has helped us.

I hope this helps a little bit. I am constantly changing up my ways to adapt to the new challenges. Some days are better than others and there are days I wonder how we all survived. DH too works 12-14 hour days so we are solo most of the time and it can get crazy. I am actually the major diciplinarian in our house and we are on the same page so that helps me.

Sorry no time to check for spelling etc and I typed while both kids were trying to climb on me so there may be many.
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Old 09-16-2009, 12:18 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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I'm glad this thread is still going b/c I'm picking up some nice tips. I borrowed a pp's idea of having DD help empty the silverware (spoons only) from the dishwasher and by the time she gets them all into the drawer in her messy way I've already emptied the entire bottom rack.
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Old 09-16-2009, 12:41 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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That's funny - one of DS's favorite things to do is empty the dishwasher! He runs and gets the step stool and puts it by the silverware drawer. I take the sharp knives out first and he puts the rest away.
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Old 09-16-2009, 02:10 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Originally Posted by Blue Angel View Post
123 Magic is what is working for us.
1-2-3 Magic is tremendous. Check your public library for the book and video.

I'm not a fan of spanking, but I believe it is appropriate in one instance: When the child's behavior could have tragic results. If your son darts into the street or parking lot, or tries to turn on the stove, those behaviors could result in serious injury or death. That's the time to spank. Follow the spanking with a hug and a statement like, "I love you and I won't let you [do whatever was done] because that is very dangerous."
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Old 10-05-2009, 12:21 AM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Oh, my I have company! my dd turned 3 in Aug and let me tell you, I have seen her run rings around little boys her age. She is fearless to the point of danger. She is so curious, so artistic, so beautiful and kind but in the same breath, enough to make me insane! She is the one that when she is quiet for too long, she is doing something wrong. She is so funny though. She will find something she shouldnot have (like a full box of bandaids) and she will hide them in her beautyshop, telling me it is a secret, not to tell daddy...

I just get so frustrated somedays. I know consistancy is the most important tool, but between DH blowing whatever I do out of the water on his days off, trying to work a 4 month old into the schedule that never was a schedule and trying to deal with fibromyalgia on top of the lack of sleep and her never wanting to nap (when she needs it...) Some days I literally cannot function. That's when we play campout in mommys room, when mommy is too sore to chase a 3 yo around the house. Easier to catch in one room when I am in pain.

I was going out for a smoke after a very bad day. DD looks at me and asks where I'm going. I say "Crazy, you wanna drive?" She says "I always drive you mommy!" Yes you do!
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Old 10-08-2009, 12:14 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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My son is now 4 but went threw the same thing. He is a very strong willed person so when I put him in time out he would just get up. What I did was just keep putting him back with no reaction from you. It took us one time 1 hour and 35 mins for a 2 mins time out. After a couple times of doing 1 and 35 mins time outs I tried something else. I would let my some calm down from the tantrum that we was throwing and then give him the time out after he calmed. I would tell him what he did wrong and that the behavior was not accept able and then the 2 min time out was only 2 mins. You have to show him who the boss is. My son is really good at time outs now but he does not get them much any more either. I truly think my son was in time out most of his 2's and 3's. You have to be consistent. If he starts acting up in the store. I would put my cart to the side bring him to the car and he could have a time out in the car buckled up. I know that what I just said is easier said then done. You will get threw this. I promise you will. It will just take sometime.

I really have a pretty good kid now. He maybe gets a time out once a month. I am very lucky I have to say.

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Old 10-08-2009, 12:40 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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all three of my kiddos are actually really, really well behaved...except for sittinf in the stinking shopping cart!!
my soluiton...we just petition all stores to put 5 point harnesses in the shopping carts!!! that is the only thing that will work!
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:33 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Originally Posted by linz152 View Post
2. Give them "chores". Both of my kids have little things they are "responsible" for around the house. Of course we pick age appropriate things. For instance DD (20 months old right now) unloads the clean silverware out of the dishwasher. She stands on her little tippy-toes and tosses it into the drawer (no where near hitting the slots for the silverware). She is so proud of herself and really is pleased to be helping out (the downside to this is we have praised her so much about helping out that she wants us to take her picture every time she does this ). She also pours the dog food in the bowl, helps us pick up toys, and puts dirty laundry in the laundry room. DS has some things like this too. He's responsible for keeping his room picked up, he wipes off the dinner table after dinner, carries his and his sisters plates and cups to the sink, and lets the dog in and out.

I think having them help out teaches them that they contribute to the family and also its the beginning of teaching kids about natural consequences. This is a Love and Logic technique. They know that if you make a mess, you clean it up.
LOL!! Do you think you could teach this to my DH??????
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:39 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Old 11-19-2009, 01:15 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Originally Posted by linz152 View Post

2. Give them "chores". Both of my kids have little things they are "responsible" for around the house. Of course we pick age appropriate things. For instance DD (20 months old right now) unloads the clean silverware out of the dishwasher. She stands on her little tippy-toes and tosses it into the drawer (no where near hitting the slots for the silverware). She is so proud of herself and really is pleased to be helping out (the downside to this is we have praised her so much about helping out that she wants us to take her picture every time she does this ). She also pours the dog food in the bowl, helps us pick up toys, and puts dirty laundry in the laundry room. DS has some things like this too. He's responsible for keeping his room picked up, he wipes off the dinner table after dinner, carries his and his sisters plates and cups to the sink, and lets the dog in and out.
After reading this post awhile ago, I started having DD help w/the dishwasher/silverware the same way and also have her help me with the laundry. I sit her on top of the dryer and hand her clothes to throw into the washer. She loves it and it definitely helps me to have her occupied and "helping" so I can get these chores done without her trying to hang on my legs for attention. Sometimes I drop more spoons in the dishwasher to keep her going while I finish the rest of the dishes.
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Old 11-20-2009, 08:04 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Originally Posted by Blue Angel View Post
123 Magic is what is working for us.
I just picked up this book at the library noticing it was something that i heard someone talk about on here. I have to say that I love it. And although I haven't gotten through it all the counting is working for us. He uses the stairs as a time out and he knows when I get to three and say "take 5" (well not all the time) he goes to time out. But I have seen a BIG difference in me being silent and him being better! Now I am not saying he is a perfect angel by any means but at this point I will take baby steps!!!

So I say all that to recommend everyone to read 1-2-3 Magic!
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I actually did it for 11 1/2 months! I am more than thrilled. Now she is 1... it is very sad.
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Old 11-20-2009, 08:06 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Originally Posted by grace.maddie View Post
my soluiton...we just petition all stores to put 5 point harnesses in the shopping carts!!! that is the only thing that will work!
Atleast the work for some kids! My DS climbs right out of them. In the stroller I have it the tightest on him and I look aways and look back and there he is... ugh! I really hate those harnesses!
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I actually did it for 11 1/2 months! I am more than thrilled. Now she is 1... it is very sad.
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Old 11-20-2009, 08:59 PM

RE: What to do with a 2 year old!?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kallagreen View Post
I just picked up this book at the library noticing it was something that i heard someone talk about on here. I have to say that I love it. And although I haven't gotten through it all the counting is working for us. He uses the stairs as a time out and he knows when I get to three and say "take 5" (well not all the time) he goes to time out. But I have seen a BIG difference in me being silent and him being better! Now I am not saying he is a perfect angel by any means but at this point I will take baby steps!!!

So I say all that to recommend everyone to read 1-2-3 Magic!
I was borrowing it from a friend (also b/c of a recommendation from another thread here) and eventually just bought my own copy. I really like it, too. The HARDEST part is not showing emotion when they're pushing your buttons and just sticking w/the simple counting. Although since DD is just under 2, I do give a reminder of "do you want a time-out?" so it reinforces what I'm counting for and what the consequence is and that seems to work for us. (Actually this backfired once when she said Yes, so I gave her what she wanted!)
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