Allowance Questions

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Old 05-27-2009, 02:05 PM
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Allowance questions

Ok, so today on tv I see that they are talking about how kids should get an allowance but not to tie money to chores. That chores are a family responsibility and everyone does for the family without payment or reward.

I have tried umpteen times to give the kids an allowance and tie it to chores and it never works. I get frustrated that the chores aren't getting done without me begging or nagging, then tell them they won't get their allowance. I also don't like them being dependent on me every time they need money to have to ask for it, they feel better having their own money and not begging for me to buy stuff for them.

So basically, my question for all of you is - Do any of you follow this allowance not tied to chores? If so, do you give them dollar amounts equal to their age? Do they still pitch in and help to do stuff when asked of them if it isn't tied to chores?
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  #2  
Old 05-27-2009, 02:10 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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I really haven't had that long of parenting because my oldest is 4 but each week he gets about 10-15 dollars, but thats because he helps alot, ie with picking up after he eats emptying his plate and putting it away in the sink, lots of things, but its really not cash we give him he would rather play his video games, so he gets "bonus" play time on them. So when he is extra good he gets something at the store. hth
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Old 05-27-2009, 02:11 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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I never really got an allowance. I was paid to do chores. I refused to do them if I wasn't paid. I practically refused to do them if I was paid (I hate dishes and garbage)! I am definitely one to do something if I get paid for it though. When I was really little, I would not put my head under the water for swimming lessons until my mom told me she'd give me a dollar for every time I did it. I think I put my head underwater like 20 times that day.
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Old 05-27-2009, 02:14 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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Here is how we do it. I have 3 boys but my eight year old is disabled so the allowance rules do not apply to him even though he does get special treats. The other two are 11 and 4. The 11 year old has certain things like taking out the trash, homework, help with brothers when needed, clean up his room, brushing his teeth, shower, etc. IF he does it all on a daily basis without fighting (we do have to remind him) then he gets $5 a week for allowance. If he does extras, like last week he got on the ladder with dh and cleaned the gutters, then he gets a bonus allowance (this time it was an extra $5). Now ds that is 4 has to clean his room, clean the toys in the living room, bath, teeth, etc. IF he does it without fighting then he gets $2 and if he does any extras he gets a bonus also. I try and teach them that doing work, no matter if at home or a job, will earn you money. I think that teaching them responsibility young is the best way. I don't think it is a problem to tying the chores to allowance. Heck, if I don't go to work then I don't get paid. Yes, the boys still pitch in to help with other stuff even though it is not part of their chore list. I think that somethings need to be done by everyone like dishes, putting away laundry, etc. and those things are not part of the chore list that earns them allowance and they do not get a bonus allowance for doing normal housework.
Sometimes if we are going to Toys R Us which is not near us so we rarely go I will ask them if they want TRU or allowance. They cannot have both since they will spend a lot more then their allowance at TRU. If we go to a store they bring their money and have it to spend or save. The 4yo spends his all the time and the 11yo is learning it is better to save for something big.
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Old 05-27-2009, 08:11 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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We have a 4 YO and a 2 YO and neither is getting an allowance, yet. They get stickers for helping with chores and for other things like sharing & manners. When they have 20 stickers, we do something fun as a family like going to the zoo, bounce-house, or out to eat.

I don't think at this age, they need money of their own. Their grandparents occasionally give them birthday money, and we let them spend some of it (anything over $10 is saved for college).

I started getting an allowance ($5) for doing chores when I was, I don't know, 10 or 12. I used it to buy school lunch (I was too cool to brown bag it) and to buy Christmas gifts for my family members. Since school lunch was $1.25 at the time... I'm not sure how I stretched it so far, because back then I had no coupons!!

My allowance stayed $5 until I got my first job at age 17. If I didn't help, I didn't get paid. I had to be nagged constantly! I have heard the same advice - don't tie the allowance to chores, but I think it worked in my case.

It motivated me to finish college so I could make enough money to have a cleaning lady - at least once in a while.
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:35 AM

RE: Allowance questions

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I have a friend who uses quarters with her 6 year old. What she does is ask him to do something and will get the quarter out of the jug. If he does something she asks him to do he gets a quarter, if he has to be asked more than a couple of times then no quarter. If he flat out refuses or throws a fit about it she takes a quarter away.

She does give extra quarters for doing good deeds above and beyond or going through an entire week at school with good behavior, etc. I think the first time he had a really good week at school he got a couple of dollars and then slowly went down from there.

Then at the end of the month he is allowed to take all of his quarters to the bank and cash it in or put it in a saving's account. I think the average is $5-$7 a week, depending on what she asks for and his behavior. She said that she has noticed a considerable change after starting this process.

My DD is still too young for the allowance part but we are trying to teach her responsibility slowly. She is required to pick up the puzzles in the toyroom and "help" with the other things. She also helps put dishes away and loves to clean windows.
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:48 AM

RE: Allowance questions

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My kids are 2 and 4, so no allowance yet. Allowance will start at 5 years old, be tied to age(ex. start at $5 and go up $1 every year on the birthday), but not tied to chores. Chores are something that has to be done before the child is allowed computer time, tv time or going to play. Everyone in the family is expected to pick up after themselves, and there will be a job list to earn extra money for extra chores(like weeding garden or washing a car). This is how my mom did it and it worked for me and my brother.
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:27 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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We give our ds 100.00 a month ,not tie to chores or grades.
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:31 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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Lacecoupons- will you adopt me please?
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:40 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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I never got an allowance per say. We did chores because thats "what family members do". We plan to do the "allowance not tied to chores" thing here. Don't know how it will work yet since they are only 2 and under.
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:41 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bette View Post
Lacecoupons- will you adopt me please?
Me too please. I only get $50 a month .
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:45 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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We give our kids an allowance. And they have a list of responsibilities. If their responsibilities are not met, we don't nag or warn or even remind them ... they just don't get their next allowance, and there is no argument or negotiation about it, they just don't get it. You will be amazed at how well they are able to remember to handle those responsibilities the following week!!!

Our motto: if you treat them respectfully like adults (like you wish your boss at work would treat you), you will be amazed at how well they do!
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:51 PM

RE: Allowance questions

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we did allowance when ours were younger and $1/yr is probably plenty

we did not tie to chores directly, but we did family cleaning on Saturday morning and if nobody got allowance until major chores were done, which included cleaning their rooms, etc

my kids had daily chores - take out trash, load/unload dishwasher, etc that were enforced by discipline, not money

my kids also had to save a portion, pay their own church offering, etc out of the allowance money
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