HELP!! 7 Year Old Boy Cries About Everything!

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Old 01-12-2009, 01:26 PM
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HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

I have a 7 year old boy that cries about everything. EXP Losing at a game, not knowing a word in a book and needing help, just plan getting/doing something wrong as far as directions and such. He has been a very sensitive child since birth and I was hoping he would outgrow this. Anyone else gone/going through this?
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Old 01-12-2009, 01:32 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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I dont have any advice for you other than to always encourage him and make sure no one is putting him down. I was a very sensitive child (I would cry if I hurt someone else's feelings!) and sometimes I am still very sensitive, I dont know what triggers it, just make sure to give him lots of extra love.
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Old 01-12-2009, 01:32 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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My 9 year old did that at age 7. I think it's a phase with some kids...the more sensitive ones She still does it sometimes. But that's when I usely make her bed earlier because she needs extra sleep.

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Old 01-12-2009, 01:38 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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It could be a little issue, could be a big issue. Hard to tell from info given. My daughter has the big issue. She has been diagnosed with emotional disturbance along with autism and ADD. She act that way too. It could just be his age, my 8 year old nephew does the same, btw my DD is 7. If it becomes too hard to try to manage by yourself and you feel something else is going on then see a specialist--no harm in that, the best they can say is that you are overreacting the worst is that there is an issue. but you would love him the same no matter what anyways.

I'm not trying to scare you or put thoughts in your head but I have seen this exact behavior in my "normal-which I use loosely" nephew or my autistic, emoitonally disturbed DD--who is just as wonderful as any other child.
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Old 01-12-2009, 01:41 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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I have an 11 year old son who is still very sensitive. If we get mad at him about anything of if he does something that he thinks he is going to get in trouble for he gets very upset. I am pretty sure he got it from me because I am still that way. I have to say that positive reinforcement and talking things out have helped a lot. He still gets upset but we are sometimes able to stop the meltdown before it begins.
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Old 01-12-2009, 01:49 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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Yes, positive reinforcement is wonderful, if you notice any triggers, try to avoid. He will have to learn to be a good loser, it is not like you can lose every game for the rest of his life though. Applaud when he does it right, tell him you will try harder next time when he does it wrong. I am also very sensitive and will cry at the drop of a hat. I really wish you the best.
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Old 01-12-2009, 01:53 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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My 7 year old son did this...until 3 weeks ago, when he was diagnosed with ADD and put on Focalin XR...and let me tell you - my wonderful little boy has simply gotten better. He would get ultra mad and teary because he couldn't do something right the first time, or something didn't go his way -

Again - not scaring you - but does your son have other ADD symptoms? Inability to focus? Sit still? Follow direction?
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Old 01-12-2009, 01:53 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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my middle son is VERY sensitive. He was very slow to talk and did speech therapy. He was very aggressive when he was young and now not agressive at all but cries over EVERYTHING. He is 10 and feel like we tried every approach- tough love, sensitive talking and ignoring it but nothing helped and he didnt seen to grow out of it. Finally got the doctor involved, she explained that he is a big boy and it was ok to cry if someone hurt, sad or injured but otherwise it wasnt appropriate behavior just because he was happy with outcome or getting his way. that really helped alot to have stranger/doc he trusted talk to him which he does get watery eyes occasionally but we normally just ask him if he wants to go see his doct again. She is just his ped doct but that helped. He has a younger sister who babies him and torments him since being the middle child is so hard. He isn't the oldest and isnt the baby girl in family so he has to deal with life. Good luck. Not sure if this helped. I worried that i was babying him too much but i have to admit he was sensitive and emotional from birth!! Pity the woman that has to live with him
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Old 01-12-2009, 01:58 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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What bothers me the most is what other people say. Last night we were at Cub Scouts and it was a game theme for the night. Of coarse he couldn't get through the night without crying 5-6 times. During snack time one of the mothers said "Boy he sure doesn't like to loss does he!" and went on to comment that her son lost 3 wresling matches and it didn't bother him! I told her thats one of the reasons we signed him up for Cub Scouts, to help build his self-esteam. Also, while they were playing games on of the dads kept acting like "there he goes crying again!" and he was also laughing at him. It made me want to leave!
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Old 01-12-2009, 02:05 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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I often wondered about ADD. I think I might talk to the school nurse (good friend of mine) or his teacher. I have 3 nephews with ADHD and 1 of them also has autism. But they act totally different than my son.
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Old 01-12-2009, 02:12 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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There are lots of mild forms of ADD that center more on impulse control. It is possible your son might have one of these offshoots where he has trouble "keeping it together" for lack of a better word when emotional.

Good luck!
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Old 01-12-2009, 02:12 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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i sat son down and told him or when he would get upset i would point out that others are alright with winning and losing. its a part of life. its best to be honest to him and others and let them know this is a issue you are dealing with it. always make sure that you present it to him in a nice caring momma voice. its frustrating and embarrassing sometimes but he must stay or continue with social scenes to help adjust. Now i have to admit my son's self esteem isnt the best. He says he has no friends but kids are alway hanging with him at gym and ballpark. Hang in there. Just do your best to be supportive and caring. Also i have checked with all teachers and he doesnt give this behavior at school. That was a big clue that he is playing me or the family for attention. Trying to make sure he has one on one time with me and his father to see if things improve. He is in middle school and doing great. pray its a phase but check with teachers and then doctor to see if other things needed. i did explain to my son that he was so emotional i thought about medication. This got his attention.
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Old 01-12-2009, 02:14 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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I HATE the comments from other parents who think they know everything about everything. YOU know your child, you do ALL you can for your child and do not need the rude comments from others who do not understand!
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Old 01-12-2009, 02:20 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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It wouldn't hurt to talk to his teachers/doctor but some kids are just born more sensitive. I think validation is one of the best things you can do for these kids. Google Dialectical Behavior Therapy and validation. Not that your son has a personality disorder but this can help anyone who's a little more sensitive or reactive. I use it w/my clients, my kids, family, etc. and it can make a world of difference. Childhood is naturally invalidating experience - everyone telling them what they do or don't or shouldn't feel and little power to do things for themselves!

Basically, it's about walking the line between validating their experience as true for them and still encouraging them to do whatever anyway. You just find something in their experience that's valid and use that. Like, "Honey, I know it's so hard to lose, isn't it? I know it's especially hard because you care so much. It's normal to cry when you're so upset.". Then, when he's calmer, encouraging him to try again or stop crying or rejoin his friends or whatever. It's like meeting them where they are and then helping them get to where they need to go. Once someone feels "heard", it can make really help.

I feel for you about the other parents and the comments. Some of my family scape-goated my little sister and would make comments about her reactions or whatever. Used to tick me off!! My kids are still really little so we've not experienced that yet but I can imagine I'd be fit to kill if they were laughing at them. It would be very hard to be polite or effective about dealing with it!
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Old 01-12-2009, 02:25 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ston66i View Post
Also i have checked with all teachers and he doesnt give this behavior at school. That was a big clue that he is playing me or the family for attention. Trying to make sure he has one on one time with me and his father to see if things improve. He is in middle school and doing great. pray its a phase but check with teachers and then doctor to see if other things needed. i did explain to my son that he was so emotional i thought about medication. This got his attention.
Just to play devil's advocate: A lot of times kids act out more at home because that's where they feel the safest! Or because it's kind of built up over the day and they get tired or overwhelmed, come home and fall apart. Of course you still work with them on expressing things appropriately and what are effective coping and/or communication skills. I just have a reaction to the idea that kids are trying to "play us". Not that they don't ...my 3 year old is already trying to bargin for extra tv time or whatever...just that we have to be careful not to write it off to that too quickly.

Sorry, the therapist in me is pretty active today!
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Old 01-12-2009, 02:27 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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I would let the teacher know at school. This is what I have done and it has helped them understand. Also, maybe the school counseler. They have wonderful ideas and suggestions on helping kids cope. It could be first grade. My daughter has an awesome teacher but hates 1st grade. Kindergarten was so fun and easy she says. Just encourage him and be very patient. I know that today, I can make my almost 15 year old son cry with a firm scolding and talking too. He is an awesome kid because he is super sensitive to his feelings and everyone elses. Do not let others (especially adults) make fun of him like a cub scouts. I would have went over and explained to the laughting parents what was going on. Kids will make fun of other kids especially if their own parents are doing it also.
First I would check in with his teacher, principal and school counseler. They can be very helpful.
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Old 01-12-2009, 02:35 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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For some kids it is just a phase. We had temporary custody of my nephew during that 7-9 span (parents were in prison) and he was a crier. I mean everything made him cry. If I turned off the cartoons he would cry and so on. We just finally stopped acknowledging the crying with anything other than "It's okay to cry and its okay to be sad but if your going to throw a fit please go do it in your room." Most of the time he would go lay on his bed and then come back out when he felt better. I don't know if it was depression or what but he was the most serious little guy I've ever met. His teacher used the same approach and would tell him the same thing and offer him some time in a quiet place in the classroom (she had a bean bag chair in the corner of the room surrounded by book shelves). After about 6 months of bawling over everything he just started to come out of it. By the time he left us he was about as normal as I could say a kid could be...I just wish we could have kept him cause now he is all screwed up again and older.
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Old 01-12-2009, 09:27 PM

RE: HELP!! 7 year old boy cries about everything!

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I have a nephew that is a crier and he is a totally healthy kid...just very sensitive and eager to please. He cries if he gets embarrassed by his brother picking on him or if he doesn't know how to do something. He is so sweet and loving...the only one of my nephews who has ever gotten me a present! He saves all his money (so frugal!) and bought all the grown-ups a present at his school Christmas fair. It could just be his personality. My son is 4 and he is not a crier UNLESS he gets around a pretty girl OR he has not slept enough. In either case, the slightest thing will send him into hysterics. I hope you can find out what is wrong with him. You might wanna call the pediatrician and speak to him without doing it in front of your son since he does seem very sensitive. He can tell you where to take it from there.
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