[marbear]

Having twins is hard but it is definitely a special experience that, for the most part, brings out the best in people. I love seeing an old woman's face light up or having a random stranger help open a door for me because that definitely is something you don't see enough of these days. Little kids always get a kick out of seeing "2 babies!" too.

Today I go to take my oldest to swim class and there are about 25 seats for adults to watch their kids on the t.v. and one small toddler table in the corner w/ 4 chairs a 1 busy bead thing. There were 4-5 adults, 2 of whom were seated IN the toddler chairs. These were NOT small women. They did not move so I could get the twins seated and busy in the bead thing...so I just had to hold one and try to keep one wrangled. As soon as I come in they start ranting on about twins. One said there was no way she could have twins b/c they don't run in her family. Guess what little lady...nobody sane EXPECTS they are going to have twins. The other lady must have been a nanny or aunt or something b/c she couldn't have kids and she said she told the fertility doctor on their last attempt that she was not going to take clomid b/c she didn't want twins. They then rambled on about how people take all these fertility drugs to have too many kids. I was SO uncomfortable. My twins were spontaneous and they do run in my family, but why would they say those types of things...they do not know me or my situation plus I have so many dear friends that do have babies that are a result of fertility meds.

They were also judging folks when they would leave the room on how they were parenting. Can you really some up someone's parenting grade in a 30 minute wait at the swim club??? Anyway, these ladies were worse than the "double trouble" and "I'm so sorry" people. If a you see mom of multiples (or a special needs child or anything out of the ordinary) please don't act like she is a travelling zoo. I felt like I was on display. Not once did they try to talk TO me...yet I am sure they will go home and call me the unfriendly *itch.

[lhart24]

So sorry swim class went that way.... Just remember you got something special.. and they were jealous of your double dose of joy..

[twinners]

Sorry that happened to you. I am the mom of twins(and I have a special needs child too) and I know how much people do tend to stare when we are in public. I feel on display too! I think they are mostly curious about twins. You are right, people do ask a lot of questions(sometimes very personal questions). But I have never had anyone make comments like that to me. Of course they probably judge me behind my back for have 5 kids....Like you said, most people don't try to have twins! My twins were not the result of fertilty drugs either.

Don't let their comments get the best of you~just be thankful for your kids

[erp0620]

Grrr, I wouldn't have just let it go, but that's me. And this is coming from someone who had to take fertility meds to get pregnant (and will likely have to again to get pregnant again). Your chances of multiples on Clomid are something like 10%. You run a much bigger chance of multiples when you do IUI b/c they hyperstimulate your ovaries. With Clomid (which is really just the first stage of fertility meds) it's just a slight increase in your chances of multiples, but more often than not, you get pregnant with a singleton. And how DARE they talk all that crap with you sitting right there!!! Ooh, I am so angry they did that!!! Seriously, I would not have let it go w/o saying something to make them feel stupid about saying stupid things. I'm so sorry you were made to feel uncomfortable.

[NJMom]

Marbear, if I saw you out, I would talk to you! Moms of twins usually talk to each other not about each other when out in public but I am sure you already know that.

I've had people ask "Are they natural?" about my twins. I want to say, "No, they are made of plastic, completely un-natural." I mean SERIOUSLY, whose business is it anyway?

[sckmrk]

Mom of 6yr old boys...

When ever someone tells me "Double Trouble" I politely tell them "No, I wouldn't say that. I have been blessed twice."

[scrollic]

There are just to many incompetant morans in this world.... Unbelievable....

Here's a hug

[Momtoabunch]

They seriously need to invent mouth imodium for some people.

I get unbelievable comments about my family size "Better you than me!" "You must be insane!" and more in public, IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN (and sometimes their own children ). I think people just don't realize how they sound.

Try not to take it personally. People say stupid stuff to all other "groups" of people, couples with no children, couples with one, single parents, parents with multiples, parents with large families. Everyone gets their fair share of comments. I choose to think that it is just because they want to make conversation, and it gives me a chance to dispel some myths about large families.

[marbear]

Originally Posted by sckmrk

Mom of 6yr old boys...

When ever someone tells me "Double Trouble" : I politely tell them "No, I wouldn't say that. I have been blessed twice.":hugehug

Double Trouble is my least fave...I always say "nooooo...twice as nice."

One woman came up and said she was sorry for me, but not in a jokey way...in a way like my chances for a happy life were dead b/c I had 3 boys...it was like someone DIED. I looked at her and just said "why would you say something so rude to someone????" and I walked off. Another lady in a restaurant got SO loud (don't you love when people get louder the funnier they THINK they are) and started saying how much she'd hate to have twins. My husband didn't understand why it would make me mad, but I told him if I saw a child who had a physical disability, I would NEVER EVER get boisterous and be like "MAN I WOULD HATE TO HAVE A DISABLED KID...I MEAN WHAT A HASSLE!" Same difference...even though twins is a different scenario nobody wants to hear bad things about their kids or to feel pity for something they consider to be their normal life.

I mean would you ever go up to a mom with a kid in a wheelchair and be like "man, that's a handful...better you than me!!!!"

[erp0620]

If anything, I like seeing families that are "outside the norm." I only have one child now and sometimes I just get so frazzled. But then I think that if the moms of multiples or large families can do it (usually with such grace) then I can handle this. It's always a positive thing for me.

[TigerGirl1226]

I would never had thought of "double trouble"...that's just rude!!

I went to school with a few sets of twins, so I guess they don't see "out of the ordinary" to me. I mean, it is 2 kids...not a circus act. Some people need to take a minute and think before they speak.

[carriemb2]

Originally Posted by NJMom

I've had people ask "Are they natural?" about my twins. I want to say, "No, they are made of plastic, completely un-natural." I mean SERIOUSLY, whose business is it anyway?

mabear....All I can say is WOW. I am sorry those ladies made you uncomfortable.


And that "are they natural" thing is just amazing to me. I think twins are so cool, i always played house like I was the mom of twins, but i would never even think of that, let alone asking that. oh boy!

[marbear]

[quote=TigerGirl1226;648859
I went to school with a few sets of twins, so I guess they don't see "out of the ordinary" to me. I mean, it is 2 kids...not a circus act. Some people need to take a minute and think before they speak.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, we have several sets of twins in our family and I am kind of shocked that people are shocked. Mine look nothing alike so I know the comments are going to get fewer and farther between (they'll probably just judge me for having over 2 children soon). I get a lot of concentrated looks followed by "how far apart are they." I say "2 minutes" and they say "oh, so they're twins???". I actually think my redhead child gets almost as much attention for his hair...Imagine redheaded twins. You could never leave home! Add curly headed to the mix and you'd have to lock them up in the basement or take them out one at a time

[mommyhope]

I wanted twins. But got one instead. And when I hear double trouble I don't think negatively I simply think all kids get into something now you have 2 to chase. Maybe I think this way because I don't have twins. But I am certainly jealous.

[erp0620]

We have friends who get asked all the time (ALL the time) if their two kids are twins. They're 18 months apart. The boy is smaller for his age and the girl is normal to big for her age. They get SO frustrated with it and people say the dumbest things!

[schatz]

my friend has a set of twins that are the most adorable little girls!! I can't believe the words taht come out of some peoples mouths.

[wkfrank29]

I am so sorry those people were like that. I can't believe people can be so inconsiderate, and think others can't hear them?!?!?! If I had to do fertility treatment to have children, I would have felt SO blessed to have twins!

[NJMom]

I wanted twins my entire life, ever since my twin sisters were born when I was 5. I guess being around twins since I was a kid (and there are 5 of us in my family) and people saying dumb stuff to us all the time growing up prepared me for some of the things people say to me. Complete strangers love to tell me that their daughter/niece/god-daughter/neighbor/ex-sister-in-law, etc did fertility treatment and had twins. Like I care about some stranger's personal life! What does that have to do with me and my beautiful girls?

Last summer, we were on the boardwalk and someone walked by us and said (but not TO us), "Oh twins!' and their friend replied, "No, they can't be twins-- one of them was really fat." I almost slugged her, seriously. There was a huge weight difference in my girls at birth and believe me, I was acutely aware of it but don't you dare say my baby is fat in my earshot!

[LyndaSLP]

Some people take stupid pills instead of vitamins each morning.

[jibbers]

Originally Posted by Momtoabunch

They seriously need to invent mouth imodium for some people.

I get unbelievable comments about my family size "Better you than me!" "You must be insane!" and more in public, IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN (and sometimes their own children ). I think people just don't realize how they sound.

Try not to take it personally. People say stupid stuff to all other "groups" of people, couples with no children, couples with one, single parents, parents with multiples, parents with large families. Everyone gets their fair share of comments. I choose to think that it is just because they want to make conversation, and it gives me a chance to dispel some myths about large families.

I only have one child but if I had several and someone said something like that to me I would probably say something like "Well which one should I send back??"

I hate it when people hassle DH & I about why we did not have a second child or ask when we are going to. We are both turning 37 this week and DS is 11. We just never ended up trying for number 2 - the first one was unplanned. I've always wanted to look at those nosy people who keep pushing the issue and start crying and asking him how they could be unsensitive and carry on like we tried but couldn't. The only thing that stops me is that I feel like I am treating fertility problems lightly - I know there are many ladies who have those troubles and feel like if I pulled that act I would be almost making fun of their situation.

It would be a really, really boring world if we all had cookie cutter families of mom & dad - one boy & one girl and a dog.

[NJMom]

Originally Posted by jibbers

It would be a really, really boring world if we all had cookie cutter families of mom & dad - one boy & one girl and a dog.

You reminded me of something: when I was pregnant and told people I was having two girls, so many people said, "Oh, too bad it's not a boy and a girl. Then you would be done having kids." Like having a boy and a girl was the only type of family a person could want to have! I was (still am) THRILLED that I was having twin girls and never thought that it was "too bad" that one wasn't a boy!

[marbear]

Yeah, there was a pg woman on our twin boards who was so happy she was having a boy and a girl because she was done and got "the perfect family" in one shot. Whatev! I also hate when people with girls act like I am just a big loser for having all boys. My brother's girlfriend is always rubbing it in my sister's and my face that she bets we wish WE had a girl. Well, I hate to break it to her, but her "little girl" loves wrestling, hunting, Nascar, and football. She won't play with dolls or wear girly things. What exactly is there for me to be jealous of ANYWAY? I can't stand when people act like one sex is "you lose". I feel so sorry for kids born to people who are open about their disappointment in not getting the sex they want, too. I've met some of those. I can see the positives to all girls, all boys, or just some of each....two at a time, one at a time...they will bring a lot of happiness any which way they come.

[angel wings]

I was blessed with TWINS. They are now 27 and gave each gave me granddaughters.
Sure it is a trying time. I had a 2 1/2 yr old. I feel like GOd does not make mistakes. He gives those who can handle it twins.
I do not have a boy. Their dad was spoiled by the all us girls. He didn't mind not having a boy to go fishing with. He loved the girls Soooo much.
My parents had 7 children and I am the only one that didn't have a boy. Didn't bother us.

[rach]

Geez some people have some nerve. I think that they were jealous that you have something rare and special.

[patbruck]

I just can't get over that they wouldn't get their butts out of the toddler chairs when two toddlers entered the room!