[ahernandez]

Ok so my husband went on a drinkfest this weekend. Was suppose to be home on Friday night around 7pm (from work). I talked to him at 9:40pm and he said he was leaving his friends house in 10 min (and they live 20 min away) well I didn't hear from him again. I tried calling all day Sat. Went out looking for him Sat night. He finally came home at 3:30am sunday morning. And keep in mind we have a one year old. Now he has admitted he was wrong. Ok well that is a total different subject but to the part that I am really pissed about. He said e used his ATM and credit card twice Sat night to pay for his beers. He said that they madde him pay for each beer he couldn't run a tab. Ok so I check online today to see how much he charged (he counldn't remember and couldn't find receipt but said no more then $60). So first charge $20 not bad, second 212...yes two hundred and tweleve dollars. At a bar. Not to mention the cash he had and the ATM that he used. We are still not sure on that. I am guessing this weekend cost him at least $600 and he staying in durham NC. I could have gone on a cruise for that, hey I could have done a million things. And what was I doing this weekend. Shopping at Harris Teeter for triples so I could save our family some money. Wow I am mad




Sorry you had to edit me...I will be good...

[NoahsMomma]

I'm still pissed at mine also...he spent $14.00 taking the train(roundtrip) into NYC, to go drink He spent $66.00 plus the cost of the train all to go bar hopping.....I'm hopping mad. Next time he says something about my coupons(how much I spend to save). I will say better than drinking $80.00 away!

[Anissa]

No doubt.. Id be pissed too!

DH went out drinking friday night and didnt come home either until Saturday. He only spent $60.00 unlike yours spending $600 but I was still upset that he didnt come home. Granted.. I went out and spent $40 myself, BUT I came HOME! (lucky for him I know where he was all night)

I dont know if Id be more pissed about him not coming home or the $600. Seriously.. if they wouldnt allow him a bar tab, how did he spend $212 in one transaction? Was he buying drinks for the WHOLE bar or do you think it might have been a screw up? Maybe he spent $12 or $21?

[erp0620]

OMG! We would have to have a SERIOUS come to Jesus talk. That is unacceptable on all counts...to be MIA for a day and a half as well spending all that money. This might be a situation where the baby and I would be going for an extended visit with my parents and he would be left with $X.XX of cash and take all his ATM and credit cards while you are gone. I can't believe someone would do that!!! Huge hugs to you and LO!

[mrslukebrown]

Oh No I'm sorry this happened. I can't relate with the drinking thing but hubby did totally screw us on a cable bill one time when I was pregnant and "not into it" and he decided to watch "vids!" I was PREGNANT & P****D not a good thing Im sorry that happeend<3

[CM_ANGEL]

Wanna hear something funny? This is completely opposite in my family. My DH is in NY and my best friend came down here to spend the weekend with me. Well, we decided to go out and have some fun. I must have been having alot of fun because yesterday I checked my bank account and I spent almost $200!!!! On 1 friggin night, I spent $200 with nothing to show for it but a headache and some out of focus pictures!!

[TigerGirl1226]

If he wanted to go out, okay... Spending that much money and going MIA is not okay. My dad had a habit of doing both when I was little and it was a major reason my parent's marriage didn't last. Is this something he has done before???

You are totally within your rights to be mad as hell!

[ahernandez]

Yes we have been having a come to jesue meeting each night so far and it will continue. He told me last night he was going to give me all his money and just pay cash from now on and ask me if he needed money...and this was before I found out about cc. Yeah it def. makes me mad because my whole family lives in Mass and we live in NC I would love to take a weekend trip but the flight is like 250 and I am like weell we can't aford that. We apparently he thinks we can afford 600 for beer...wow

Oh and I did call the credit card and they are going to send me the receipt because I really don't know how one round of drinks could cost 212...not sure if he left tip blamk and they wrote it in or what...but we will see...

thanks for the support...

[ahernandez]

He has done this a few times in the last 2.5 to 3 months. We have had a talk every time and every time he says he is going to be better. I pretty much told him that that was the last time and I am out of here if it happens again. He has admitted that he has a problem (now he doesn't drink everynight or anything so not sure if you can call it alcholoic) he says he wants to talk to someone and try to figure out what is going on. Any advise on whole he should talk to?...I don't even know where to start here...

[Kcash69]

$212 sounds more like a lap dance than a beer tab.

[ahernandez]

LOL...for 212 he should have gotten something more then a beer...its not that type of place...

[lah123]

I've been married for almost 19yrs. and if I had all the money dh had wasted on drinks in bars,cigs,tips (probably lap dances too) and bottles of Canadian Mist I seriously believe I could retire on it. Say your dh got 10 or more beers (and probably some shooters too) would probably that were $5-$10 each, then tax and tip -it could be easily $212 everything cost so much. And some places take advantage of people who have had a few too many-I 've seen it happen.

[Goldi43192]

I was thinking the same thing Kcash, My question was going to be, What kind of bar was hubby at? Because this could of been "some beer and a couple lap dances" and thats why there were no receipts. But you'll find out when your bank sends you a copy from the nights totals. I wish you the bestest of luck dear!

[NoahsMomma]

I would call the credit card company and see if they can fax it to you. It would be faster. Sounds like they might have put a large tip on there also. My DH used cash. He had taken a $100.00 out of the bank account. He used his debit card for train ticket. My DH isn't allowed to used our bank account for drinking anymore. He ran up a $300+ bill 3 years ago

[lifeworthliving]

I feel your pain! Don't even know what to tell you. Guess all I will say is don't take to much crap for to long! It only gets easier for him to dish out! Not saying he's a bad guy, I don't know him, Just saying I do know people.

This kinda stuff is why I live alone with a dog and some chickens! I am just not the one to deal with stuff like this anymore.

for you and the baby!

[TigerGirl1226]

Originally Posted by Goldi43192

I was thinking the same thing Kcash, My question was going to be, What kind of bar was hubby at? Because this could of been "some beer and a couple lap dances" and thats why there were no receipts. But you'll find out when your bank sends you a copy from the nights totals. I wish you the bestest of luck dear!

FYI, the main "gentleman's club" here shows up as something totally different on CC transactions...something like Harry's Restaurant or something totally innocent like that. In this case, obviously she would know because she could match up the obviously glaring amounts, but even the bars/clubs try to help hide the indiscretions.

[OldTinGrl]

PS. I ditto everything lifeworthliving said...well, minus the living alone.

[emcmillan]

OMG!!! I fully understand you being upset about the money that was spent, but what bothers me the most from this is that a grown man with a wife and child at home has left work on Friday morning and not returned until Sunday morning on more than one occasion in the past 2 - 3 months. Where is he all weekend long? Eventually the bars and clubs close, so where is he going?

I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. I wish you the best and I hope this works out!

[gahippiechik]

Sorry that happened to you..I was married to someone for 15 yrs that drank all the time, I finally got tired of it and left.
Good Luck to you!

[bargainshopper]

Even though your DH doesn't drink every night he is still what would be considered an alcoholic. I know I live with one too. I love him to death, but I could do without that aspect of our lives. If your DH is willing to seek help then let him do that as it will only get worse. Mine doesn't believe he needs any help. (he knows it is a problem) and thinks that is ok since he knows it. DH can go through an 18-24 pack in a weekend without blinking an eye. Now if he went out and spent up to $40 let alone $600 we would have some serious issues as we don't have that kind of money to pay for it. I am sorry that you had this happen and I would have to say that if my Hubby was MIA for a day and a half I would be questioning why and most likely taking a little trip to let him realize what he has to come home to. I hope that things get better for you and that he comes around!

[ahernandez]

Yes DH thinks he has aa problem. I have told him that if he talks to someone they will tell him that he has to quit drinking not sure that he is ready for that step. I sure hope he is. He will go out a night on the weekends and play pool and drin with his friends he usually stays till closing and then comes home. A few weeks ago he left on Sat night at 10pm and didn't get home till sunday morning at 11am. He went to his friends house after the bar closed then was too drunk to drive home (he did try to call me at 5am to tell me this I was asleep). But this past weekend was the first time that he went that long.

Thanks so much for all the support. I am def. mad abut the staying out all weekend (especially since it ruined m HT triples weekend ) but the money thing is really making me mad right now. I work so hard doing my deals always trying to get a good price and using my coupons only to have him blow all of my efforts in one night. And we did not have the money to blow. We owe 10,000 on our credit card (4000 of which he lent to his brother that we are never going to see back). But thanks everyone...

[eaturpasta]

I pray for strength for you....

[gagesmommy]

Good luck!! This is just me but my bags woulda been packed for at least a couple of weeks! You must be very understanding! Sorry you are going through this!

[latrice0723]

Since he used his credit/debit card I would call the bar and have them pull their receipts for that night to find out if he did have a bill of $212 or if the bartender "mistakenly" keyed in the wrong amount. DH and I went out to eat a few weeks back to Maggianos. When checking the account 3 days later we noticed our total charges for our dinner was $80 more than it should have been. DH contacted the restuarant and had them pull the receipts for that night. The next day we received a call from the manager stating they found the problem...the waiter tipped himself an extra $80!

[careyberry]

I hear you! Sounds like there are issues far beyond what both of you can bare.

This is a individual decision as well as a joint one. It's encouraging when he says wants to change; however, the truth will come out when the rubber hits the road. And the same goes for you. It is very hard to regain trust once it's lost. Marriage is not easy but it can be done!