[bmrodriguez1588]

So I am the couponer of the family & buy 90% of the personal items we use. Dad started wearing contacts recently so I stocked up on contact solution, in like a wk he's almost done with 2big bottles & 4 lil bottles!! So I asked him on Sunday that since I was headed to target if I can get him his contact solution. He answers no, that he will get it himself since the little bottles (renu brand 2oz) he didn't like, I said I would buy him the REbu big bottles (Pricier ones!) & he tells me NO!! Next day I go to the bathroom & see a twin pack of the Renu boxes! He prob paid $14 when I coulda gotten them for $5! ($4 manufacture on twin pack & $3 target its on price cut for $12) Now box is taunting me in the restroom saying he paid too much! Why does he complain of $ yet goes & spends more than he has 2? He's always complaining I dont contribute enough, blah blah blah & hes broke always & that I dont get how it is to get paid & have his whole check gone blah blah blah! It's like YOU don't organize yourself, you spend your $ so quickly & u overpay for stuff I can get 4u! He says he supports my couponing, brags about all the stuff we have, yet when I give him stuff he DOESNT use them! I told my mom I have given him 2 bottles of gel, 1 bottle of hairspray (in past he used my hair products & used them all up in a wk!!!!!! so I gave him his own stuff so he can keep his paws off of mine!!) deoderants, electric toothbrush, & cant think what else! & he has NOT used ANY of those things!!!!!!!! I told my mom "why does he accept them if he won't use it?! Can he tell me no thank u! So I can give them to people who will gladly accept them!?" I even cried about it that he takes what I do for granted & he doesn't see what I contribute to the household & save $ & organize bills. HE says he notices, but sure don't feel appreciated! Guess the issues is more than the darn contact solution, but 4now that solution is taunting me saying "he paid $14 for it!!!" ugh thanks 4listening, rant over!

[Goddessoflubbock]

As long as its his money I wouldn't worry about it. It kills me to watch people overpay, but I'll bet a lot of people here could do better than me in my shopping do it all evens out.

If it was your money I'd be flipping out...

[bmrodriguez1588]

I know it's not mine but he complains I don't contribute enough & I do with $ but when he's short on rent or a bill it's cuz he overpaid somewhere probably and then we Gota step in & give the $. I want to hide the bottles!!! Lol their taunting me, hes bad with $ & will never learn, that's my frustration overall because we all end up paying for his mistakes with $

[Misschriss]

I think you and he already stated the answer. He doesn't want anything from you in the way of coupons because he doesn't feel you contribute enough moneywise. He probably resents that and doesn't want to accept purchases you made with your coupons . He would rather it be money you give him.

[joshmamabear]

Originally Posted by bmrodriguez1588

I know it's not mine but he complains I don't contribute enough & I do with $ but when he's short on rent or a bill it's cuz he overpaid somewhere probably and then we Gota step in & give the $. I want to hide the bottles!!! Lol their taunting me, hes bad with $ & will never learn, that's my frustration overall because we all end up paying for his mistakes with $

I feel for you, this is the hard part. You all end up paying for it when he's short on paying the NECESSARY bills. I can imagine you cringe when you realize he paid full price for items you could have cut the price in half or more with MQ and store Q combined.

Sadly, I don't think you can do much about this situation; he will buy what he wants no matter what the price; what you can do is help him with some funds (when he runs short) that you've saved from using coupons. Until you get a place of your own, just bear and grin it for the meantime.

[Kayline]

I have no advice for you; just want to say that a bottle of contact lens solution lasts me about a month. What is he doing with that stuff?

[isabelpak]

Hello,
Just wan to say this is about men pride.
Don't give nothing to him and Don't get discourage.

[SLance68]

I am glad that you see how your Father over spends and won't make the same mistakes with your money in the future. Breaking that bad habit is an awesome thing you are doing. You should give yourself a pat on the back for realizing and making that change.

[cathymarie]

He might be upset with himself for needing your help. I don't know your family situation, but in my experience, most parents want to provide for their kids. It sounds like he's not really able to have the lifestyle he wants for himself and your family...and I would imagine its upsetting to him that you have to contribute anything. Saying he wants your money or that you aren't contributing is a way for him to vent his frustrations about money without being like "We are so poor and it's my fault for not having a better-paying job!" Instead, he can blame it on your lack of support and whatever else takes the attention off him. But in the meantime he's too proud to accept your help with coupons because that means admitting he struggles with money....so even though he likes your couponing skills and brags about them, he hates needing them. I'm sorry it's such a frustrating situation for you! I hope it gets better!

[TJ_2008]

It's all a pride thing Don't take it personal

[Jakejake]

I agree with others that it's a pride thing, he may feel like getting "items" is a handout, whereas giving money is helping to pay your share. I know it's not logical, but it sounds like you need to accept that you can't control him.

Depending on his age, it may be related too to his feeling like he's losing his independence if you buy things for him which would explain why he's having an irrational reaction to your help.

You can make yourself sick getting emotionally wrapped up in a couple of bottles of lens cleaners. The money you save on couponing isn't worth that, right?

[scottd09]

Well, you can't really do anything. If he won't accept your help, what are you to do about it? Nothing at all. Let him spend his money and maybe some day he will realize he's being silly.

As for the contact solution, I don't understand how he uses so much! I've not used 1 small bottle in over a year! I don't clean my lenses but I use it when I put them in sometimes.

[couponkim101]

Originally Posted by scottd09

Well, you can't really do anything. If he won't accept your help, what are you to do about it? Nothing at all. Let him spend his money and maybe some day he will realize he's being silly.

As for the contact solution, I don't understand how he uses so much! I've not used 1 small bottle in over a year! I don't clean my lenses but I use it when I put them in sometimes.

I don't have day disposables because they don't make them for my high astigmatism. So I have ones I keep in for 2-3 weeks. I stocked up on the travel renu when the coupon came out. I only go through a travel size bottle a week! As for the OP, so sorry you are dealing with this. You obviously have a kind heart though by wanting to help him save money on bills. Maybe he does see couponing as a "handout". Some people do see couponing as a thing to be ashamed of. Very sad.

[hazmatgirl]

Maybe tell him your moving........THEN HE WILL REALIZE HOW VALUABLE YOU REALLY ARE. He would be even more broke.