[Addicted]

I just have a rant regarding my ex-husband and wondered if anyone else had any thoughts on this subject because I'm seriously getting annoyed by it. LOL Saturday I took my children ages 13 and 14 to meet up with their father for the weekend. We live a couple hours apart so it's easier to meet halfway most of the time. He came to pick them up with his girlfriend in her car which I've never seen before..know nothing about it but it was fine. Until he dropped my daughter back off with us and she casually mentioned that there were no seatbelts at all in the car. It's a classic car so I know by law they aren't really required to have seatbelts but does this really excuse the need to have children PROPERLY constrained?? My 14 year old had a classmate die in a car wreck the weekend prior due to not wearing his seatbelt-he was partially ejected from the vehicle-and this just terrifies me. I expressed my concern to my ex-hubby and asked him to please NOT allow my children in any vehicle without seatbelts. Now he's acting like I'm being unreasonable. He's even got my son telling me that's it's legal and he doesn't HAVE to wear a seatbelt, etc etc. Thoughts anyone? Perhaps someone might even have a better idea of the law regarding this because I can't really find anything as it pertains to children in these cars. Thanks.

[joshmamabear]

When you said you know nothing about it, did you mean the car or the GF? As to the car, I don't know much it, was it one of those antique cars that the fastest it runs is around 50 mph or less? I really have no idea, just guessing

If it was the old antique cars, it is possible those don't have seatbelts owing to the fact they don't run that fast enough to create such an impact in case of collision AT THE TIME they were commonly used. In these days, I don't think they'll be safe to use in freeways and the interstate if they can't even run @ 55 to 60 mph. I'm just thinking out loud.

If you feel your kids are not safe in it, you can talk about it with your ex and let him know you're concerned about the safety of your kids. See what he says.

[LizzyBizzy]

Traumatizing for you daughter and possibly your son to ride in a car without seatbelts in light of the fact that a classmate JUST DIED because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt! Especially on a 2-hour trip!

Send your ex the classmate's obituary with a note indicating he lost his life due to not wearing a seatbelt.

It's simply cheap insurance -- you NEVER know what the "other guy" might do (run a red, cross over the line, be driving drunk, texting or talking, etc., etc.).

I'd be mad too (can't you tell? and I'd raise a stink about it. #1 IT'S THE LAW!! (at least in my state, all kids under 17 have to wear seatbelts). #2 it builds good life-long habits.

Riding in a "vintage" car is cool but not for kids if it doesn't have seatbelts. Save the classic jalopy for the town Independence Day parade!

My $.02 FWIW!

LizzyBizzy

[Mteel33]

I agree with Lizzy.. This is about your children being safe. You never know what the 'other' guy may be doing while driving. Yes,!very cool to have a vintage car, and to ride in one, but at what expense? A life?
I don't think your over reacting. Your ex is under reacting...just my two cents

[catt101]

I agree it is a serious safety issue !!!
However, here is what I know about the seatbelt/ classic car issue. Seatbelts were made a mandatory safety item by federal law sometime in the late 60's or early 70's (sorry I dont have exact dates.)

Most ( if not all) states allow that if the car was manufactured before the law went into effect, that they would not force owners to install them.
Thus, it is legal to not have belts in these vehicles and it is legal for anyone to drive/ride in these vehicles without restraint.

I am not saying I agree with that.. But, it is the law.
I had looked this law up when I was considering rebuilding a classic car.

I personally would not want DS in a car like that. Especially if car was going to be going over 35 mph.

Sorry I dont have better dates or facts. Posting this from my phone. Information can be found in the internet..

[Jakejake]

I think you have a valid concern - and obviously it's been validated by society at large; that's why we've updated the laws to require seatbelts. It's an acknowledgement that riding without them is NOT safe.

The best advice I can give you is that if he won't comply with your request to use a car with seatbelts, let him know your next step will be to ask Friends of the Court or a lawyer if it's possible to modify the custody order to require that he only transports them in a vehicle with belts. It's stupid that we have to go to those extremes sometimes to enforce common sense. I've been there - I have a daughter who is allergic to aspirin, and an ex who is a bit of a bonehead and repeatedly gave it to her, then would drop her off with her face all bloated up. "She looked like she was having a reaction to it so I gave her some herbal tea." UGH! So ... yeah, I have a lot of sympathy for you, it's infuriating to watch any parent endanger their kids and I don't even have words for it when the children they are doing it to are yours.

[Robbo]

I thought the law that excludes classic cars from seatbelts also excludes minors from riding in them... Have you checked with local law enforcement? AFAIK, there is no law that overrides vehicle safety for minors.

[catt101]

Robbo: that is entirely possible. I did not see anything stating that children were excluded, however, it was a while ago when I last looked.
I would definately check into it.
I feel that if the dad did not "take the hint" that it was not ok for the kids to be in the car, any judge would look at custody arrangements very carefully!!! I believe a court could specify that children must be restrained in any vehicle!

[Goddessoflubbock]

My husband is a classic car buff, 1957-1974. Cars did not have seatbelts in most vehicles prior to the mid-60s - read Unsafe at any Speed by Ralph Nader. He caused a huge revolution in auto safety.

Anyway, cars that came without gear now required are perfectly street legal. And it is legal to ride with your kids everywhere we've lived.

Please don't let my husband hear you say bc they are slow cars LOL! Some classic muscle cars are still the fastest production cars ever built!!

That said it is very easy to retrofit them with seatbelts. Any catalogue (year one for example) will carry the needed parts. In most cases you won't even get dinged at a show for them.

We retrofitted our 57 Chevy about 10 years ago, DH and I aren't fabulously competent but we did it!

[Addicted]

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and opinions and advice! I'm definitely not going to just allow this. I guess what makes me the angriest is the fact that ex husband knows how I feel..he knows about the child killed in the auto accident..and he just doesn't seem to care that my children's safety is more important than ANYTHING to me. It's for reasons like these that I have sole custody of my kids..he only has visitation rights. I think he continues to ignore the safety of the kids, I will do as suggested and discuss it with an attorney at the very least.

[Quazel]

It blows my mind when a parent doesn't put the safety of a child first. I can't think of anything more important. I hate that you have to take this further but you do. Good luck finding out the laws and speaking with your attorney. Hopefully the law is clearly in your favor with kids and that is all he will need to be told.

[RNSAMRN]

Your children's safety is first. He may have visitation rights, but they do not come before your children's safety.
I would demand he transport them in a car with seat belts, and inform him you will be seeking legal counsel if he refuses.
He could always have supervised visitation in your presence if he does not want to transport them safely.

[lilrdmandy]

Wow.. There is a reason most all states have laws about seatbelts. Is this a new gf? maybe your ex got so defensive because of the gf and not so much about seatbelts.

[polydoly13]

Ok most everyone has stated my opinion already but I'm gonna add it anyways cuz I WOULD BLOW A GASKET if anyone let my child ride without a seatbelt. I was in a horrible wreck when I was 18, I was hit by a drunk driver who did not have her seatbelt on, let me just tell you that the emergency crew was sickened with the condition of her when they found her. AND I was in a big truck WITH my seatbelt on and I still hit the steering wheel, broke my jaw, knocked out a few teeth, the dash was crushed into my legs (if I had been any taller my knees would have been shattered). SEATBELTS ARE A MUST!!!!!!!! I don't care what the "vintage car" law is and it doesn't matter if they supposedly go slow, I was going under the speed limit when someone going OVER the speed limit hit me.

When your momma bear instinct comes out, there's a reason!!!!! Go with it.

[Jakejake]

polydoly - now that I'm reading your post, I'm remembering that my mother would have died when I was younger except her seatbelt saved her life. She swerved to avoid hitting a dog, thinking she was just going onto the unmowed shoulder of the road, no big deal. Except there was a tree stump hidden in the tall grasses. It was a pretty empty country road, fortunately a cop drove by and checked out the car, she was slumped over the steering wheel unconscious. They had to rebuild part of her face, but the seatbelt is what saved her when she hit the stump at 50mph.

[polydoly13]

It just drives me crazy that my MIL & FIL will take the grandkids 7 miles down the road without seatbelts/car seats NOTHING. I realize it's a short distance but my MIL flipped her pickup truck on their DRIVEWAY when her kids were little. None of them had seatbelts and none were hurt so I guess she thinks she's invincible. I told DH that if we ever have kids and I hear about them riding without seatbelts it'll all be over but the crying. And that whole seatbelt issue gets me riled with DH cuz he thinks that not having his belt on when he was younger and he was thrown out instead of being in the car to have the hood crush him means he shouldn't wear a seatbelt. Yet in my case the seatbelt saved me and I think it's that case for most accidents. We live in a state where they can't pull you over for no seatbelt unless there is another violation, so DH rarely wears his. Hopefully the law will change and he'll wisen up.

[nippythedog]

ITA with PolyDoly. Seatbelts are a MUST! I was recently in a bad car accident. A woman ran a red light and T-boned my car at 40MPH. Myself and my passenger, were wearing our seatbelts. We walked away without a scratch.

[nanci143]

As a retired EMT, let me just say scraping a toddler off a windshield is and was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done! Fight for the right of your children to be protected by their parent!!!

[bigdogmom187]

As another mother who would have gone utterly ballistic about no seatbelts. I just wanted you to know that you have all of my support for whatever it takes to keep your baby's safe (yes yes I know there not baby's but as a mom I'm starting to get that "you will ALWAYS be my baby" mindset ) and as the children's other parent your ex shouldn't need to be TOLD that seat belts are a necessity!!! My Dad was an EMT. He told me about "a human road pizza" I never complained about bucketing up again. And have been anal about it ever since LOL So all I have to say is "Go get um momma bear ".

[arkaneinc]

As a fellow father I can tell you this, I would have just added Seat belts. It's relatively easy enough to do even on an antique car. My children come first. I'm not implying that your ex doesn't care about your children. I am sure he does but some people just don't look at the whole picture.

[sneakers1234]

yep; insist he add them. cuz those same vehicles also have no airbags.

[veriria]

Unreasonable to ask to keep your kids safe? Hmm, doesn't seem like he should be taking them anywhere until he can safely transport them.

[AngBuck]

Kind of dumb for him to put his kids in a car without seat belts. To me that's child endangerment. I was in an accident with my best friend when I was 17. We were going maybe 35 lost control in the snow, went airborne over a 8ft snow drift , hit a pole head on and flipped end over end seven times. If I hadn't had my seat belt on I would have broken my neck. ( I'm 6'1 , and we were in a Kia Sportage soft top.)
I broke a bone and wound up having sugery on my knee.

Your kids are precious cargo and should be buckled up.

[bigdogmom187]

I was wondering if you got common sense to dawn on him?