[EMunion777]

Gr. Oh my gosh i'm so mad! No one's available to vent too and I don't want facebook friends knowing about our problems because they actually know us.

I am so frustrated! So my DH and I just found out i'm pregnant (yay!). He's been out of town a lot because he gets extra money when he goes out of town and we need it. Well his best friend lives where he went out of town this time and on his days off he hung out with him. Last night he's on the phone with me and says, "Don't be mad but..." I really hate when he starts things off like that... "...I gave him $200 because his family is having a tough time right now." Well I told him it was okay because his friend is a good person and he'd do the same for us. But getting that extra money is the whole reason my husband is gone. Well I looked passed that because he makes more than an extra $200 when he's gone.

Here's what really upset me: A package arrives at the door today. My husband's name for billing and shipping. Box says "Contour Technology." Hmmmm, what's this? We always tell each other if we spend large amounts of money before we do it (except the money he gave to his friend AND.... except for this). I open it and it says it costs $236. He never even told me about this!!!! It's not anything good either! My husband and I don't believe in diet suppliments or anything other than regular diet and excerise. He's the one that say more often that he thinks the other stuff is junk! But this thing is diet pills and some vibrating wait band with gel packs. It literally looks like a piece of junk. It looks like it's worth $40 MAX if that.

I called him and he apologized and said he can return it for a free refund but don't you have to pay to return it??? And the fact that he spent a large some of money without taking to me and that he knows I hate him being gone annnnd babies cost a lot of money. Does anyone else go through this? I always discuss expensive items over with him!!! Sorry this is long, i just reallllyyyyy needed to vent.

[perempempuda]

I understand and really get all what you said.... with the spouses sometimes is hard or most of the times... my husband always complained that he had to spend because i kind of stop getting up in the morning and give him breakfast and fixing his lunch for take out... so we set up a little refrigerator and a coffemaker at his office... so here i am filling his refri with all kinds of lunch meat, salads, burritos (homemade) and all sort of things and guess what ... all of our CC statements contain a bunch of charges for sandwiches bougth in gas stations or fast food places!!!!! I JUST WANT TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!!! but i love him what can i do...

[joshmamabear]

I can understand your frustration and I think you're in a difficult spot. Your DH makes the money right now and to control his expenses may take a lot of effort on your part. Try to explain it to him in a non confrontational manner not like you're his parent trying to straighten him up, iYkwim. Treat him as an equal/responsible adult and hopefully, he responds to it positively. If you act in a controlling manner, he may resent it and do a lot of things behind your back since he's the one making the money, anyway.

I hope you can get on the same page regarding money matters. It is a major source of irritant in a marriage when couples can't see eye to eye on money matters. But once you're on the same page, it will be easy for both of you to manage your finances well and reach whatever goals you set.

Good luck and take care

[LilBlossom]

I know what you mean! Though, in this house, we're (thankfully) not talking $200+ purchases. But still, when money is tight, money is tight. Now, though I agree with Joshmamabear on talking to him in a non-confrontational manner, I don't agree with the thought pattern of "he's making the money". Atleast in our household, we've always considered all income, mine or my husbands, everybody's. Ofcourse, I don't know how your husband thinks about the money, but I'd sit him down and explain the situation calmly. Yes, I know, it's HARD when you're this mad... But try it anyway...

Good luck!