[mommyof1beauty]

I am on maternity leave with a NB, and a 3 yr old DD.

Ok - so to make a long story short, I took DD to the library yesterday for a special treat. While there, my DD linked up with a 4 yr old and played forever..little did I know they would be attached at the hip.

While there, 4 yr old's mom talked to me forever, she was unusually VERY friendly, like more than anyone usually is. Afterwards, I went and took DD to McDonalds for a burger - this mom/daughter pair were there....and then my DD did not want to leave. This lady took a photo of all the girls at McDonalds playing together, then got all of our phone numbers so we can do a mommy-group later on when we're not busy. All the mom's at McDonalds were like "yay!"

Two hours after I got home, the lady called me - wanted me to watch her DD for the rest of the week while she was working....something about her mom can't watch the girl b/c she went to Sedona. This lady is not my age, probably 40 something, not sure of much about her, just that she lives near me and works full time.

So today I watched this girl - 6:45 a.m., until 5 when her mom gets here. Was fine at first - my DD went to daycare, until 12. When I got my DD, she went to nap, and this little girl woke her up on purpose (she was bored). The girl does not listen to anything.....my NB is small, 5 1/2 lbs, and I told her repeatedly DO NOT TOUCH HIM anymore! I dont want any dirty little fingers by the baby! She went outside, turned on the hose, sprayed the backyard, sat in the mud, did not want to eat lunch, came in, did not want to wash her hands, etc etc...."no, you're not my mom!!"

I did this for this lady to be supportive I guess. But jjsbev (my super AFC friend) warned me - be careful, there is liability involved. Well....so true! I went to take DD to school this morning and I buckled them all in, and this girl said "my belt in my carseat wont work"....after spending 1/2 hr messing with it - the car seat is BROKE. This girl rides around in a car seat that is not repairable! I wanted to cry....I dont want anything happening while she is with me.

I right now am up to my wits end. I am great with kids, dont get me wrong...but a little annoyed that this mom would have her kid in a bad car seat...but not be worried in the least! I called her but it did not seem important to her.

I am supposed to have this girl for Tom and Friday too, but am thinking I just want to tell the mom "you know, I cant do this." - I had NB up all night, and no rest, but this is just too much right now, and have to take baby to a doctor appt tomorrow - this girl has no car seat that is working. Folks I need your honest opinion - what do I do?

[atyner]

Id tell her you cant watch her.. you just met her.. and it seems like she took advantage of you and only talked to you so you'd watch her kid. I NEVER watch anyone elses kid.. even if its friends, I just dont want anything bad to happen and even though the parent says to discipline the kid if they act up, I dont feel right doing it and I just dont want to end up in that situation where something happens to the kid.. etc.

[nilennovy]

She just met you and she asked you to watch her child not for a hour or two, but for the rest of the week?!!

I don't know if she offered to pay you or whatever, but either way, I would tell her you have a newborn and it's just too much and you are sorry but she needs to find alternative child care.

[Mof3]

That whole situation is crazy!!! I would never let my child go and be babysat by someone I knew nothing about. To top it off the child has a broken car seat that she is riding around in?? Geez I would just tell her that I'm not able to watch your child any more.

[flower_mom]

Yes, it does sound like she is trying to take advantage of you, but that doesn't mean be rude to her. Just tell her politely as possible that you thought you could handle watching another child, but as it turns out you just can't right now. Explain to her the discipline issues you have had, but stress mainly that it is simply that you have a newborn and you need to focus your time on him. I'm sure she will be disappointed, but if she is someone you need to stay friends with, then she will understand that you have to put yourself and your family first.
Stand up for what is important to you - your children. It sounds like taking care of her child is taking a lot out of you and you need that energy to take care of and love your children as they deserve.

[mommyof1beauty]

The lady saw us at the library around 12:30. We talked for maybe a half hour, then she happened to be at McDonalds when I took DD in for a burger. There we spent 45 min.

Then POOF, she asked me to watch her DD for the rest of the week. I was a little taken aback..... yes she offered to pay. She said 30, I said 40, when she came this morning she had no cash - I said "well if I watch kids I get paid up front, not after..." and she said "well I'll bring the money when I pick her up."

ARGH! Then the broken car seat had me wondering....instantly felt horrible....having her ride in my car, so I drove back home asap and called my MIL and said "can you believe this".... my MIL was apalled. Absolutely apalled.

[karenvallone]

Get out of this arrangement ASAP.........there are waaay too many red flags here!

[Alexdur85]

Sorry but there is something weird with that mom. If I had JUST met you, i wouldn't trust you and I hope you'd feel the same way about me. It takes time for trust when it comes to babysitting either at a licensed daycare or just at home.

Tell her that you are willing to have play groups with her but right now that's as far as it is going to go. You can't watch her becasue she doesn't have a functioning car seat, you are maternity leave so you can bond with your baby-not so you can watch other people's kids. I mean, obviously say it nicer but you get the jist. I think you already knew what to do anyway =)

[couponmom1956]

Just tell her "I'm sorry..I can't watch your child anymore". End of story...

[NinaJo]

Originally Posted by couponmom1956

Just tell her "I'm sorry..I can't watch your child anymore". End of story...

I would not even offer her an explanation!

[gasper77]

OH man, you need to focus on your newborn, if the lady doesn't care about the car seat who knows what else that kid could have wrong....all kinds of sicknesses going around out there...just tell her it's not working out...all there is to it

[karren tipton]

Originally Posted by karenvallone

Get out of this arrangement ASAP.........there are waaay too many red flags here!

From two Karens who are older than you and maybe a little wiser?

[simmonds4]

I'd tell her you can't do it anymore. Sounds really weird!

[Drea]

Oh my goodness, I defintely would say """NO""" no more....your two children are more important.....maybe thats why no one else would watch this little one, doesn't listen.....good luck....

[luvcatsbaskets]

What kind of a mother is this woman, asking a complete stranger to watch her child, then did not tell you about the car seat. No way would I babysit for her. When my daughter was that age I would never, never of had a complete stranger watch her, I feel sorry for the child to have a mother like this, if something happened and you had to transport the little girl again and got pulled over or something, you would be held liable for the car seat because the child was with you. I would not watch her another day. Just my opinion. Good luck.

[Cadnil]

Originally Posted by karenvallone

Get out of this arrangement ASAP.........there are waaay too many red flags here!

I agree entirely. I'd end this relationship completely. You don't owe the mom any explanation. Just tell her you are unable to babysit any more, that it's not working out for your family. If she shows up at your door after that, don't answer. Get out, and stay out.

Rarely do I take such a strong position, but this mom's and child's actions signal a need for immediate, decisive action.

[kimmyann123]

i would just tell her that you thought you were able to handle it,but with the baby and all its just to much,and if she has a problem with it,just say good bye..click

[kimmyann123]

i would never dream of leaving my child with a starnger to begin with..wow this story is really crazy,that lady sounds like a awful mother,she probally dont have anyone to babysit,as you said the child dont listen at all,broken carseat,thats in itself is illegal i think,and to leave your child with someone you dont even know is just beyond me...

[jmtfirewife]

[kimmyann123]

i dont care what kind of situation i was in,i would still never leave my child with a stranger,ever...

[sweetiev135]

There's definitely something weird about this mother. I would NEVER leave my DD with someone I just met, and would also NEVER drive around with a broken car seat. What is that woman thinking?! If I were you, I would get out of the arrangement ASAP!

[coupondiva55]

OMG!! are you serious? That's crazy! How can anyone in their right mine do something like that? I am sorry you are going thru this, but honestly I would say no...tell her you need to rest. I would absolutely say NO, just b/c you don't want something to happen to this child and then you are liable for it. I did this with my sister that wanted to use me every week to care for her 12 yr old grand daughter, b/c she does not want to live with her mom...I didn't want to be responsible for anything...I got my own kids!! I would not specially, b/c the child does not listen to you when you ask her to do something...there is some behavior problems there...don't do it!! I hope all goes well!

[akbkm460]

40 for the day or the week? If it's for the week I would tell her that you are sorry but you can't do it. 40.00 for a week of daycare is a joke!

[cheryllnovak]

I'm sure you are a very responsible person and maybe she was impressed with how you interacted with your child but....... Why didn't she just walk up to a random stranger on the street and ask him/her to watch her child? After 45 minutes of knowing you.....you were still a stranger to her and her daughter. She got lucky this time with you taking good care of her daughter but what if the next person had a criminal background or was abusive???? Get out while you can and don't feel guilty about it!!!

[applerama]

Originally Posted by karenvallone

Get out of this arrangement ASAP.........there are waaay too many red flags here!

totally agree to this