[NoahsMomma]

First let me start out by saying that I am very strict with my kids. We moved into our rental house in June 2007. When we moved in I would not allow my kids to play outside unless they stayed in the backyard. Mostly they were kept in to help unpack and because it was so hot. Also I didn't know my neighbors, and I am the type of person that keeps to myself. My neighbor across the street had told all the neighbors we had 8 children, 6 still at home. They didn't believe her until we showed up at the bus stop last year. She seemed nice at 1st. Invited me into her house~showed off her $100,000 addition and kitchen remodel. She complained a lot about money and credit card debit ect. I told her about coupons, and a full cup ect. "Bev said I don't have time for that ect". I noticed with her 2 youngest girls who were in the 1st & 2nd grade, that they argued a lot and the mom would just yell at them. Never punish them. So I left and we were still friendly. Then on the bus last year. Her girls were hitting a 1st grader. And my son told them to stop and then they hit him. SO I brought it to the dads attention and he had a talk with them. Then it happened again, so I brought it to the moms attention. Her girls double teamed and said my son did something 1st.She blew me off with what ever.
Then this summer comes around. And my kids attended a summer program. so they were busy from 8-1. I walked them ect. Around everyday at 2:00pm(they had been home and ate) my kids wanted to go out and play. I live on a dead end street. My son is 9 1/2 and my DD is 8 1/2. They would mostly play with my other neighbor Terri's kids. Terri and me get along great. MY son was in her DD's class last year. I check on the kids by calling Terri or sending my oldest DD to check on them. Terri lives 2 houses away. Bev lives directly across. Bev would invite me over to sit with her. She sits outside and watches her kids. Actually she just sits there and reads the paper and ignores her kids while they hit other children. So 3 weeks ago my DS comes home and says mom julia hit me. I ask why and he said she didn't want me to go into her garage. I said did you? He said i went by the door to get a toy, and she hit me. So I open the door and bev looks over and says is there a problem Sherry? I said whats going on? She says he went into my garage and I told him not to. I said your DD hit my son. She said because he went into my garage. So I told my DS he had to stay in. And I slammed my door. My windows were open and I said your not allowed to play with them anymore because although their mom is sitting with them shes not watching them and they are mean little girls and she won't stop them from hitting.
So for about 3 weeks I have not allowed them to play over there. They could play with they other neighbors.
My rules are you have to come in when I call you. You have to check in at least every hour. I must be able to see you, and I need to know whos house your at all times. Also not allowed back out after 6:00pm because of school schedule~dinner then showers, then bed.

So school starts yesterday. My Ds also has ADHD. We have weaned him off his MEDS. He want's to try and behave and has been really good over the summer with his siblings & the neighbors.

So I had a talk with him yesterday. And said stay away from those girls. They will get you into trouble. He said ok, mom I will sit at the back of the bus. So everything went ok on the way to school. On the way home my ds was sitting with another boy named Orlando. They were sitting at the back of the bus. Julia comes back there and sits in front of my ds. Orland digs into the seat and pulls form out and puts it onto Julias hair. She turns to my DS and says I 'm going to tell my mom. So as soon as they get off the bus, my ds says can I talk to Julias mom? I said why and my ds says shes going to lie about me mom. I didn't do it. It was Orlando. I said no, she won't listen lets just go home. So I am walking with my kids from the bus stop asking about thier 1st day back. And I get around the corner onto my street and I hear Bev yell Sherry I need to talk to you. I said about what? She said about your son and what he did to my daughter. Well I didn't feel like waiting. #1~I had my DD age 3 with me and we both had to potty. Then I knew she was going to make a big show/seen. And I didn't think my children needed to see it so I kept walking. So she yells ok you just ignore me, I will come over to your house. My DS was begging me to go home. SO I ask him did you do something to her? He says no mom. So we keep walking. She walks really fast so she caught up to me. And says I told you I want to talk to you about him. And pointed at my ds. I said so what's the problem. She said him. I said well you better make your girls keep their hands off my kids. She said the next time he puts his hands on my girls you and me are going to have a problem. I said whatever~you need to make sure they aren't hitting anyone. Then she said your an unfit mother~and I'm going to call CPS on you~your a Stay at home mom and you won't sit outside and watch your kids. I said go ahead and call them I'm not doing anything wrong. If my kids want to go outside they can. She says you never check on them. I said you don't have a clue. My Ds yes she does. She also checks out the window. I said well your a stay at home mom too and I will call CPS on you(for her kids hitting). I went over to my house and I have been upset ever since. She said I will be watching your house and if you leave I will call the cops.(my DD 14 has watch the 3 younger before) Well her DS is the same age as my DD 14. She has left her son in charge to go to yoga ect.

My Dh says not to worry but she turned her chairs toward my house last night and watched as my kids played in front of my house with the other neighbors. When the kids crossed the street he children told the kids to go back across the street they weren't allowed over there. To me she is acting like a child. She didn't have the facts about Orlando. She wouldn't listen anyhow. And I think shes teaching bad family values/lying, hitting and causing a seen.
I couldn't sleep last night. My tummy is flipping.


So I walk to a different bus stop. My kids were the 1st to get on. So I told the bus driver my DS has to sit behind the bus driver. And I briefly told him I had a problem with the mother and I want the kids kept separate.
My bus driver is nice. But in the afternoon we have a different driver, and that's where the problem started. When walking home I hear her running her mouth about my son/bus. One of the parents corrected her and said it was another boy ect. Now I am worried about this afternoon. The bus are contracted through the school. So we have a different driver in the afternoon.

Can I get into any trouble for letting my kids play out side?

The ones that are allowed to are ages: 8,9,12, 12, 14


see last page for update

[wendy1214]

she is way out of line! Your kids are fine to play outside, especially in a dead end street, there isn't much traffic. She is just running her mouth off. I knwo you are concerned, but your best bet is to do what you are doing, inform teachers/bus drivers, and stay away from her and her kids till this dies down.
I am sorry you are going through this, but trust me, the cops can't do anything about 8-14 year olds playing outside- that is ridiculous!

[ditzygoat]

I am not sure about NY rules, but I don't believe so. I have worked in CPS before I started working in Adoptions, and we would not take the kids away over something so minor. The CPS caseworkers have too much else to do!!! ;-)
Anyway - a few questions, does your 14 child play outside with the rest of them - how old is the oldest playing outside? Does the other mother (the one you are friends with) keep an eye on the children as well? Do the children ever leave the street you live on? I.E. If you were to yell out your window/front door for them to come home, would they hear you?

I don't think you have anything to worry about, but I live in SC. If you need more info - or reassurance - PM me...

[erp0620]

One other thing...document everything she and her children have said and done. Also what your response and actions were. This way, if she ever does call, you can give examples of her threats and what her motives are.

[bette]

As the poster said, you're fine Sherry. I let my 2 oldest play outside all the time. We live in a little subdivision of 6 homes on a cul-de-sac and all the kids just run from house to house playing with the different stuff. Mine also check in hourly and I know they're fine. She is being ridiculous. There is no reason you should need to sit outside and watch them every second. If I did that, I'd be outside all day long! Don't worry hon!

[erp0620]

And on a personal note, we lived just outside of Buffalo until I was 9. I think the oldest in our group that would play together was a year older than me at most. We lived on a pretty tight block and we were pretty spread out. Everyone kept an eye out for us. We could all cross our own street b/c we weren't all on one side, but if we went around the block, we couldn't cross any other street. We were all fine and this was a decently busy street, not a dead end/cul-d-sac. I know this day and age things are different, but with the ages of your children, I seen nothing wrong with it. Sounds like she's just a busy body.

[NoahsMomma]

Originally Posted by ditzygoat

I am not sure about NY rules, but I don't believe so. I have worked in CPS before I started working in Adoptions, and we would not take the kids away over something so minor. The CPS caseworkers have too much else to do!!! ;-)
Anyway - a few questions, does your 14 child play outside with the rest of them - how old is the oldest playing outside? Does the other mother (the one you are friends with) keep an eye on the children as well? Do the children ever leave the street you live on? I.E. If you were to yell out your window/front door for them to come home, would they hear you?

I don't think you have anything to worry about, but I live in SC. If you need more info - or reassurance - PM me...

Thank-you so much! I am so upset about this In NY a child can play out side unattended as long as you feel they are old enough. They actually have no age requirement This is the state law. Just was wondering if I could get into trouble. Thank-you

[queenbear]

Ok you have a crazy neighbor..I live here to and DS is 6 and the girl nextdoor is 9 and they play outside all day, in either one of our yards. They only play in the front if we sit on the steps.. I have never heard of you not allowing children outside. As far as your 14 yr old..I started babysitting when I was 13. I think this chic is just crazy..

[rgyman]

I think you are fine too. I let my older one out with out watching them but they know they have to check in and if they decided to go any where else they have to come and ask too. I know it hard not to worry about it as I know I would just hang in there.

[MaxxMe]

I can't imagine there would be a problem with a 14yo watching younger kids? Heck I was babysitting small children by the time I was 10 or 11. Now, that was a different time but 14 sure is old enough. Maybe you could make a few calls and find out what the rules are for that in your area? It would make you feel much better and take the wind out of one of her threats.

Just go about doing things exactly as you always have been, and like PP said, document things if you keep having trouble with her. She sounds like a total nut job. I'd be darned if I was paying a mortgage only to feel like I couldn't live my life normally.

[NoahsMomma]

Originally Posted by erp0620

And on a personal note, we lived just outside of Buffalo until I was 9. I think the oldest in our group that would play together was a year older than me at most. We lived on a pretty tight block and we were pretty spread out. Everyone kept an eye out for us. We could all cross our own street b/c we weren't all on one side, but if we went around the block, we couldn't cross any other street. We were all fine and this was a decently busy street, not a dead end/cul-d-sac. I know this day and age things are different, but with the ages of your children, I seen nothing wrong with it. Sounds like she's just a busy body.

Thanks~our neighborhood is just like that...too except we have 26 kids on our street. I think she more mad that I won't go sit with her and group. They sit there are gossip about all the neighbors about everyone in the neighborhood. it just didn't feel right.

[kiki]

you should be fine. Your neighbor is crazy. I leave my 14 year old son to watch my 4 year twins. When my son was younger and wanted to go play at a friends house down the street I bought walkie talkies that had a long range so i could check up on him or tell him it was time to come home since I couldn't see him. Everyone loved the walkie talkie idea soon all the kids in the neighbor had them.

[bargainshopper]

I believe that the law here in Texas is as long as you feel they are responsible enough to watch a child then there isn't an age requirement. But I feel comfortable leaving my DD 12 at home with my kids for a minimal amount of time. (her and DS 8 don't get along to well that is why minimal.) But when she is 13 I wouldn't have as big a problem with it as I think that is an average age for sitters to start!

[Bashful]

A suggestion about the pm bus driver . . . why don't you call the school and maybe have a note sent to the pm driver so they could call you or give them the heads up on the troublesome neighbor girls. Documenting will cover your butt!

[NoahsMomma]

Originally Posted by kiki

you should be fine. Your neighbor is crazy. I leave my 14 year old son to watch my 4 year twins. When my son was younger and wanted to go play at a friends house down the street I bought walkie talkies that had a long range so i could check up on him or tell him it was time to come home since I couldn't see him. Everyone loved the walkie talkie idea soon all the kids in the neighbor had them.

Great idea!!!!I'm going to get these. ? These the ones you use to camp or can you get these in the toy dept?

[NoahsMomma]

Originally Posted by Bashful

A suggestion about the pm bus driver . . . why don't you call the school and maybe have a note sent to the pm driver so they could call you or give them the heads up on the troublesome neighbor girls. Documenting will cover your butt!

Great idea...actually I was so, so upset last night I called and told them what happened.

I just called the bus company and spoke to Barbara. And asked her about a note for the PM driver. She put me on hold and came back on and said they would call the school and have the school give a note about my son needing to sit by the bus driver. So hopefully he will have a great day today.

Wish me luck and thanks for all the great advice! I knew i could ask y'all and you would have the answers Thanks friends!

[stampinonthefarm]

Get the good ones, they go for two miles usually. The only time we have trouble with ours is with the woods (20-40 acres) getting in the way. They have gone so low in price now they are great!

[KellyMarie]

Sherry, I am sorry that you have a "you know what" for a neighbor. I am blessed that the only neighbors I have is adnil on one side and my son on the other.....and then nobody else for a mile and a half. As far as kids playing outside, that's where kids belong!!

[NoahsMomma]

Originally Posted by KellyMarie

Sherry, I am sorry that you have a "you know what" for a neighbor. I am blessed that the only neighbors I have is adnil on one side and my son on the other.....and then nobody else for a mile and a half. As far as kids playing outside, that's where kids belong!!

Me too!!!!

[stampinonthefarm]

Good luck, I guess that is one of the great benefits of raising the kids on the farm in the country. They can only fight with each other!

[kiki]

Originally Posted by NoahsMomma

Great idea!!!!I'm going to get these. ? These the ones you use to camp or can you get these in the toy dept?

The ones you go camping with motorola ones are good. I think we got them at BJs or Sams club, they have a longer range.

[marbear]

We live in a busy neighborhood and there is always a gaggle of neighborhood kids outside (looks about 7-8 and up). If you are breaking the laws then half my neighborhood is. I can't imagine it is against the law for your oldest to watch the younger when you go out, either.

She seems like a real piece of work. Way to teach your kids that violence is the answer, lady.

[herold314]

Oh, I am so sorry!!! That is horrible! From what I've read your a good mom and don't let anyone tell you different! Good luck with everything and let us know how he does today.

[KellyMarie]

Originally Posted by stampinonthefarm

Good luck, I guess that is one of the great benefits of raising the kids on the farm in the country. They can only fight with each other!

I have a funny story...one day my kids got off the bus and said "bus driver wants to talk to you" I was like "ok" so I went out and he said "Kelly, Johnathon and Jerry were fighting on the bus, I told them that they had like this whole mountain to fight on, can't you wait to get off the bus?" The only time they got in trouble on the bus was for fussing at each other

[KeizerMom]

We live on a dead end street and my 9 & 5 year old know their boundaries and can play outside within them.

The girl who lives directly across the street constantly has her Walkie with her. Dad got the 'sport' kind so it has like an 8 mile range. I do know anything over a certain number of miles is supposed to have a permit or license but he said the local PD told him not to worry about it and were instead impressed that he bothered. She's turning 10 in a month or two. He's able to talk to her whenever he wants, and she can easily check in with him or summon him outside. When she's inside our house playing, as she often is, they do this thing where he buzzes her with a certain tone, and she has to use a certain tone in response, no talking, just a quick "you there" "yes" via buzzing.

I think it's fantastic. I got my girls a prepaid cell phone that they carry on the rare occasions that they go play at someone elses house, most playing is done here.

Some sort of "necklace" or strap, whatever, would be a REALLY good idea for the Walkie so it doesn't get set down somewhere and lost. The neighbor girl dropped hers into my bathtub recently. Luckily I took the battery out soon enough and we dried it out...works just fine.

As for her calling Child Protective Services on you.....I used to be a 'screener' there. Meaning the person who answers the phone and determines the level of importance of the phone call, whether to transfer to the next level of screener, or directly to a social worker, or a supervisor. I was just the girl that told you whoever you wanted to speak to was busy, even when they weren't. I can tell you if your neighbor calls in she's going to find herself on the bottom of the pile of paper phone messages for a worker to get back to, possibly days later depending on the workload.

They'll take her report and likely simply file it. They may or may not determine that it's worthy of "substantiating" by talking to someone else. My guess is they'll take her report and file it. Now, this does mean that there's a manila folder somewhere with your familys name on it and the report in it. It'll wind up in a warehouse somewhere {I've actually read the one on my family when I worked there, I never knew so many people called and made reports, my parents never came close to losing us and trust me that there was FAR more cause}

Don't let a manila folder on a shelf freak you out. People make petty and vindictive reports to Child Welfare all the time. When my oldest fell and broke her arm while playing on the monkey bars during second recess at school? My ex called and claimed I broke her arm and sent her to school and had her fake the fall. Yes, because a child with a broken arm is going to go through several hours of school and then be able to swing from the monkey bars for a while, with a broken arm, and purposely fall, twisting her arm behind her, with a recess monitor conveniently nearby to see it and take her to the nurse. Seriously. Do you think I was even questioned by Child Protective Services? Nope. The only reason I know he made the call at all is because he brought it up in court later when trying to tell the judge I'd broken her arm. Protective Services never even called him back. I am relatively certain they didn't even check with the school to read the incident report nor the ER.

I tell you this to highlight, they get a LOT of calls from people annoyed with each other. Sadly this means they have less time to respond to REAL concerns.

Oh, and the mom who lives down the street and chain smokes two packs a day outside while her kids are running wild, thinks she's a better mother than I am since I'm not outside all day. Her kids also tell my kids that their Mom loves them more. Even though she's sitting outside smoking pot and cigarettes and ignoring them while they're INSIDE my house with us doing crafts.

Sorry you lost the neighbor lottery.