[KellyMarie]

A redneck gets a job with Public Works painting lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor tells him he is on probation and that he must stay at or above the set average of two miles per day to remain hired. The redneck agrees to the conditions and starts the next day.

The supervisor checks and finds the redneck completed four miles. Great," he thought, "this man will work out."

The next day he finds the redneck only did two miles but the supervisor thought, "Well he is still at the average and I don't want him to get discouraged."

The third day however the redneck only did one mile and the Boss thought, "I need to talk to him." The boss pulls the new employee in and says, "Son, you were doing great, the first day you did four miles the second day two miles but yesterday you only did one mile, Why?"

The redneck replied "Well, I keep getting farther and farther from the bucket."

[KellyMarie]

Three rednecks were joyriding with their truck on an ice-covered lake. Two were riding in the cab with the other is riding in the back. All of the sudden the truck went right through the ice. The two in the front managed to get out of the truck even though they were rather big people.

They were starting to get worried about their friend that was riding in back when he finally popped up. They yelled at him "What took you so long?"

"Well", he answered "It took me a while to figure out how to open the tail gate."