[patbruck]

about 15000. my mom gave me a budget of 10,000 (bride's family footed the bill - traditional, I suppose) but she kind of went overboard with decorations and flowers (she insisted on them, not me LOL) and it ended up costing about 15000 in the end. DH and I spent about 3500 on our honeymoon after that.

I didn't want to spend that kind of money on a wedding...I told mom that I'd rather have the money to put down on a house or something. she said there was no way she was dishing out that kind of money unless she got to enjoy herself at a wedding

we have a huge family (I think close to 300 were invited).

[erp0620]

We spent $5000. My parents paid for it and they ended up cashing in a life insurance policy, but it's what they wanted to do. We saved by using my church for the reception (which means no alcohol and HUGE savings), a family friend did the photo's (I didn't have a portrait done), church friends catered and it was SO good, my aunt made the cake with most of the women in my family (yum!) and my mom found deals and had my aunt do the decorating. She also found a DJ that would do a shorter amount of time for less money. The rehersal dinner cost twice that b/c you can't hide money in DH's family. Oy. It HAD to be a certain way b/c that's just how MIL is. They are actually paying for BIL's wedding in Jan. b/c future SIL's family doesn't believe in paying for weddings or something like that. her parents also don't speak very good English either, so... Her parents would have been fine with them going to the courthouse.

It's one day and you don't *have* to spend a fortune. How it looks isn't near as important as what the day means. Besides, if you're like us, you're not going to remember it anyway, LOL! Our friend videoed it and when we watched it, we were so surprised at a lot of what happened b/c we didn't remember any of it!!!

[NJMom]

Wedding costs vary greatly depending on where you live. I happen to live in one of the most expensive wedding markets.

[GrannyGodley]

Well..... since our wedding was 51 years ago, the cost factor wouldn't be relevant. But.... we did have 3 daughters we footed the bill for their weddings and 2 sons whose weddings we did our paternal part.

As parents of the bride:

• Look at bridal shops for gowns and acknowledge that a sale priced gown is just as lovely (if not shopworn) and it WAS FULL PRICE a few months earlier. You can get a beautiful gown for a fraction of the price
• Be sure Mom looks for her dress from the same shop and there ARE SALE PRICED DRESSES for the mother of the bride as well. If your Mom wants a short dress, look at the long dresses on sale and have one she likes hemmed.
• It is harder to shop the brides maids (attendants) dresses on sale if you have several and want them to match. But do look. Your sales person might cut a deal if you get the other dresses there.
• If you use silk flowers and are a handy-dandy crafty person, make your own but do it well ahead of the event so you won't be too stressed.
• If you want live flowers, remember that less is best. The bride if the flower of the day and needs very little enhancement.
• A church wedding is always beautiful and very meaningful. There is no rent involved in using the sanctuary if you are a member and the fellowship hall can be decorated beautifully so you save again.
• If you have a circle of friends who are "Martha Stewarts" you have it made. Turn them lose on "catering" the meal or reception. They will have fun doing it and it will be a wonderful gift to you and your parents.
• Wedding pictures: Ours were a gift from a friend of my father's who was a professional photographer. The album got pulled out from time to time through the years and was alway a treat to look at. It get really valuable when your children are grown and getting ready to marry. They love to see Mom's and Dad's wedding pictures. Don't go overboard, but DO GET GOOD PICTURES.
• Honeymoon: Don't wear yourselves out. Go someplace where you can get comfortable, get to know one another, see some beautiful scenery. Remember that those $100 a plate dinners are no more digestible than the $20 meal. Go to nice places and do nice things and eat good food. But be sensible.

[Dennie]

Been married for several years now (alright 20) so prices have changed a bit, just a little! BUT, I was very fortunate. I wore my moms gown, though I had to wear ballet slippers where she wore 3 inch heels cause shes so short , we rented my husbands tux, we just used a random church because neither one of us wanted to use the ones our parents went to (families of diff beliefs, blah blah blah who wants that headache on their wedding day ) the preachers wife played the organ for us, my dad is a cop and we actually had the cop they use as a photographer for crime scenes do our photos (he did weddings on the side all the time). My grandmother and aunt were home ec teachers and wanted to do the reception so I said sure. I don't have a real total for you, but I do remember we just paid as we went along. I suck at budgets so... I didn't have one. Funny thing, don't forget the marriage license! I kinda did until 5 days before the wedding (and it was right at Christmas) and we were planning on going through with the wedding and going in front of a judge later to make it "real". BUT, I know a few people here and there in the hosp. and courthouse so we actually had a totally legit wedding .

[marbear]

$2000
Well, my mother had died and my father was unable to help at all since he was in his late 60's and disabled from breaking his back while working as a plumber year before. I knew the cost was on me, though I did use some of the money my mom left me ($500 of it) to buy my wedding dress since my mother would have sewn it for me if she were alive. When my MIL told me she's give me an etiquette book so I knew who was responsible for what, I knew I just needed to pay myself and at that time I was working as a social worker and not making a lot of money. I spent another $100 on bridesmaids dresses for them (thank goodness for clearance and really skinny bridesmaids!). I made my own invitations which is to this day a huge regret. I did my own hair and makeup. I paid a mennonite bakery to make a cake for $125 and it was DELICIOUS and beautiful. The church, preacher, pianist (BIL), were free and my grandmother-in-law brought HUGE topiaries she borrowed from a florist friend and ivy from her yard and we covered them. SHe also brought ferns and we used spirea from my MIL yard for a table arrangement and ivy from MIL yard to weave through the food. Also someone at DH's church was a former wedding planner by trade so she let us use all her crytal and serving pieces for free. The bulk that was left was food and flowers as you can imagine. I was kind of surprised when lots of church ladies showed up with extra food, but I remember people had plates piled over w/ good food so that was sweet. I think they felt like I was some kind of orphan annie. My sisters paid for appetizers, though (afternoon wedding to save money on food). Dh sang to me. I paid for my best friend's now husband to fly in to take pictures and paid for his film- he was trying to build a portfolio, so he was really cheap and he took so many pics my friend and I joke I could have a cartoon flip book of my wedding.

The flowers were not a waste for us, and I think we had a little help from above. My mom had loved tulips and planted a HUGE bed (I remember kids asked if we were putting in a pool) FULL of them. I picked out this beautiful antique looking engagement ring/band set and the diamond is tiny but perfect and I have gotten so many compliments. Imagine how special I felt when I actually got proposed to and realized there were TULIPS in the filigree!!! I HAD to have white tulips as my wedding bouguet flower. Bridesmaids had ranunculus, tulips, and star of bethlehem and guys had ranunculus in their lapel. It was super expensive and I did not have a lot of money left for flowers in the church itself. A couple of days before the wedding I called my best friend for a stress run to walmart and for some odd reason I entered through the garden center and found a table of potted tulips (over 20, almost ALL white) marked down to 50 cents each for no apparent reason. I got them all and they really helped make it a special day.

6 years later we are still married and still in love, so other than the invites I don't regret anything. I've seen tackier weddings people spent more on, so I think it was fine. You can keep it simple and things still be nice. We had a lot of people tell us it was the most romantic feeling wedding they had been to.

[superk]

We spent around $3,000 but that was in 1996. We were only 18 and paid for it on our own. I wore my MIL's dress to save some money and cut corners where we could. It was beautiful. I like the advise about the photography and videographer. I didn't have a videographer (just a friend with a camcorder) but it still turned out nice. My photos were nice but a little expensive for me.

[armympwife]

We eloped. We went down to the justice of the peace, paid I think 25.00 for the marriage certificate, 25.00 for the civil service and then 10.00 to a guy on the street with a poloroid camera who sold us 2 pictures LOL. Afterwards our friends took us out for some beers. I know this kind of wedding sounds ridiculous at 30, but at 21 it was perfect.

[Sienna'sMaMa]

HI....

I got married in 10/05 and my wedding was about 25K. We had 160 or so people... Honestly, very few will remember the flowers, center pieces or even favors but what they ABSOLUTELY will remember is the Food and the DJ. I know that $800 sounds like a lot now but it will absolutlely be worth it... We spent the same and he gave us a break because he was a friend..... I have to say that the dance floor was ALWAYS packed at my wedding... I literally danced the Entire time..... It was amazing. Everyone will want to dance with you and you'll create the most amazing memories! So, if I can offer any advice at all it would be get the best DJ you can afford!!

Oh and I kind of regret not having a video, so even if you can get a friend to video tape, I think it will be worth it.. LOL---We still haven't ordered our Wedding album.....

Best of luck!!!!

Tara

[mysweetiepie]

we opted for a very small out of town wedding including honeymoon and pictures 1,200 then the following weekend after we returned we had a Huge seated dinner reception for all (200-225) about 1,600.00. I love what we decided to do and would not really change a thing ! we got married in 2000

[princesspsu57]

Originally Posted by amberly

ours cost maybe 200. but we didn't pay, my MIL did. We had it at her house, she rented chairs and one of my FIL cousins married us. We got all the flowers at costco and I wore a white sundress. It was in july so we just bought some sandwiches at costco and our cake too. it was too hot really to have people stay so we set up a reception in september later in the year. my dad bbqed and we bought another cake. it was cheap and we didn't have to limit who we invited. honestly, sometimes I wish I could have had a nice dress but it was cheap and we could do so much more with the money.

My flowers were from Costco too! There was no way I was spending a ton of money on them...my cousin spent like $8000 on flowers alone.

Anyway, I'm from a very small, rural town in PA, so we did a lot of things ourselves because everything is at least 45 minutes away. My mom did the flowers, which were beautiful, and they were like $200 for all of them...my cousin is a manager at Costco, so she ordered them and picked them up and everything. My dress was probably $300 from David's Bridal, we ordered a lot of stuff online...bridesmaids dresses were about $100, we got their shoes on clearance from Wal-Mart for $7 a pair, my shoes and my niece's (the flower girl) shoes were B1G1 from Payless ($12 for both), her dress was $30 on eBay...you get the picture. Our DJ was my old youth group leader, who did it for free as a gift to us, and we did have a pretty good photographer, but I didn't want her to make an album for us, so it probably only cost about half as much as others.

I like to get nice things cheap and I don't like to spend/waste a lot of money on things that won't matter in the end. Also, during my wedding, there was a lot of family stuff going on...my sister had a baby, who was in the NICU and my sister (who was my maid of honor) almost didn't make it to the wedding...and my 12 year old cousin was suffering from an inoperable brain tumor. Stuff like that really puts everything in perspective.

But my wedding/reception was beautiful and didn't cost a lot of money, and people in my hometown still talk about it almost 4 years later. My DH and I had an awesome time on our honeymoon trip to Disney, which probably cost more than our whole wedding!

[susan_t6]

Ours was around $1200. My friend is a florist so I paid $100 for flowers (white roses) and the labor to put them together was my wedding present from her. She also sang in the wedding so no expense there. It was our church and pastor so cost of he church was low. We limited to 40 people, immediate family only. Had our dinner at a local hotel that has a great restaurant and the cake for $50 and it was beautiful. We took a couple of days off of work then saved and took our honeymoon the next summer.

[livetoread]

Ours was roughly $4000. This was 18 years ago Has it really been that long?
All my flowers were silk. Arranged by my mother. We had about 60 people come to the wedding. I found my dress on super sale. I remember the sales lady asking if I as superstitious (sp?) before she showed us the dress. It turns out that it was ordered for a bride who did not end of having her wedding. Plus according to her was last years design. Who cares if you like it? The dress should have been $1000 and we got it for $300. Gee I guess I was bargain shopping even back then.

We had a friend who made cakes on side do our wedding cake. The reception was just finger foods.

funny note---for our toast we were supposed to have ginger ale(hubby didnt drink) and instead they did red punch. On tape it shows us crossing arms for toast and me informing new husband I would kill him if he spilled it on my dress. Everyone laughing in background.

Forgot to mention this price also included a a rehearsal dinner, reception, and a week stay at the beach.

[Goofyluv]

My wedding cost $25. My DH and I got married at the courthouse on my lunch break without telling anyone. When my parents found out they gave us the down payment for our home. That was 12 years ago.....

I'm glad we did it the way we did and I wouldn't change it for anything.

[shereen329]

We eloped. $93.50 for marriage license and $40.00 for ceremony....BUT our honeymoon was AWESOME....Kauai, HI and Cabo San Lucas Mexico which cost abt $7500 (parents paid). I said I would like to have a wedding someday when I can afford to have my dream wedding (w/in reason of course)

[LindseyLouXOX]

My friend did the flowers (she's a florist) and it was our gift so it was free, my cousin is a photographer and she would have liked to have done it just for us but my mom paid her $150 for the film, my other cousin videotaped. Our most expensive cost was the venue (which we got an amazing deal on, $2000 or $3000?? had ceremony and reception, it was at a golf course with a log cabin type club) food was also a little expensive, we had a buffet style Italian, I can't remember how much that was my parents paid for everything besides the DJ which was $900 (inlaws supposed to pay night of the wedding but they conveniently came with no cash so we had to pay at the last minute) and we also paid for the preacher $150. My dress was around $500 and honestly I have no idea how much anything cost as my parents were so gracious to give me the wedding I wanted and I am not an extravagant person. I would say about $7000 total with 110 guests?!?

[violetblue]

My wedding cost about $15,000 not including honeymoon & rings. We got married on sunday of memorial day weekend (5 years ago) and I discovered that you can save a TON of money by having a sunday wedding. Most of the vendors give discounts since its an off day so it worked out really well for us. We also didn't have a full bar, just 2 kegs and everything else was cash.
ETA: we had about 100 guests

[imaguy]

Our's cost around 8,000. I paid for our honeymoon to guatemala. 9-1-07. The day God blessed me with my wife.

[wkfrank29]

Mine was about $22,000. My parents I think paid about half. We had already bought a house so I went a little crazy. I might do things a little differently now, but at the time I was working very hard and A LOT to be able to have the wedding of my dreams. I did save a lot too. I did the Michaels coupon thing, got a lot of things on ebay for cheap, found a very cheap florist, had family help a lot. My Dad estimates that we had a $40,000 wedding for $22,000. Oh, to have that money now!

I spent a lot on the photographer, and I love my wedding photos still. We had about 200 people at a rented outdoor gardens area, a sit down dinner, videographer, dj, the whole she-bang. You guys that are keeping it below $10,000 are doing wonderful!

[tootsie roll]

We got married in 2002. I think ours was about $4,500. Dh and I paid for the service - a ceremony at a local wedding chapel for about $500.

I got a very inexpensive dress and veil (total of about $400), got the cake from a great German bakery that is not known for wedding cakes, for about $100.

I paid $200 for the flowers (just my boquet and corsages for my maid of honor, sister, mothers and grandmothers, and boutineers for the best man, usher, and my dad.

My inlaws paid for the honeymoon to Cancun. My inlaws also paid for dh's tux and his dad's tux (his dad was the best man). I had one bridesmaid (my maid of honor) and told her to buy a pastel dress.

My parents paid about $2000 for the reception. We didn't care about a dj or dancing - we rented a side room at Pappasitos, and it was closed off from the rest of the restaurant. We had 30 people there since we got married in TX and most of our families didn't come (they are in MD and NJ). We had fajitas for the buffet and pitchers of margaritas.

We got lots of help from our friends and family, too. Dh's best friend is an amazing photographer, and his present to us was the wedding pictures. My sister-in-law plays the oboe, and she performed the music before the ceremony. Our old college buddy volunteered to videotape for us.

I didn't want my parents to have to spend a lot of $ on the wedding, especially since both dh and I were employed and able to pay for some of it on our own. Plus, my parents were able to give us a nice check for a present - it included the money that we didn't spend on the wedding

It was so much fun, and I am glad that we didn't go overboard and start our marriage with a lot of debt. It is only one day. Your marriage is the rest of your life.

[MaxxMe]

I guess ours could kind of be called a destination wedding. It involved travel for everyone involved at any rate. We got married in Myrtle Beach in April of 03. I had 2 sons, DH and I were both older so we paid for the whole shebang ourselves. I think it was around $6500 for 80 total. We had family and friends flying in from everywhere - they paid for their own air and lodging (I got a fabulous deal on ocean front rooms for all of them).

A friend DJ'd as our gift, and I found a local woman who was known for making wedding cakes out of her home. That cake was the best I'd ever had! Gorgeous...it was chocolate cake with white icing and had white chocolate starfish and seashells trailing down from top to bottom with a starfish 'couple on the top. 3 tiers. I think we paid $200 for it which was less than half of what bakeries wanted. We found a harpist and violinist through the local symphony - omg the music was so beautiful. We had booze there but didn't foot the bill for it beyond champagne toasts.

We got married on the 15th floor of a beautiful hotel, crossed the hall into the reception room that was floor to ceiling windows overlooking the ocean. The food was the priciest catered by a wonderful restaurant there, but at $25/plate we got a great deal. The main entrees were crab stuffed flounder, roast sirloin, and chicken along with so many sides I couldn't count them. It was served buffet style.

I couldn't believe how many calls I got this past April when we celebrated our 5th anniversary from people wanting to know when we plan to renew our vows! Everyone wants to go back and do it all over again! The party poopers left not long after the dancing (and drinking I'm sure) began, and we partied into the wee hours.

The reasoning behind this long book I've written, is that we really struggled with what others wanted us to do and spend. Most weddings in the area DH is from serve finger foods vs. a meal and I insisted upon that since that's the norm where I'm from. In the end, we tried to please people to a certain extent and made it OUR day. Do it up the way you want to!

[mintman72]

Originally Posted by kandikid82

I cannot believe some of the totals! I thought spending 10K on a wedding was only done on TV! My wedding cost maybe $150 six years ago. We got married in a park, under an old oak tree, at dusk. There was already seating (park benches). We decorated by lighting dollar store candles. It was beautiful! No cake, no reception, friend married us, friends took pictures, it was very simple. 6 years later we are still madly in love. If you have the extra money to spend and it's what you want to spend it on then go for it, but there are other options. Many of us "poor" people had very "rich" weddings without the cash.

I think at the end of the day if your married to the one you love nothing else really matters.

You forgot to mention the homeless guy who sat off in the distance watching us. He said a little prayer for us at the end, and said "god bless" before walking off.

[JudyJoy]

Daughter was married 8/5/06. She found her weddind dress for $85. A friend of mine did the flowers for us. Another friend did the wedding cake. Neighbors made Apple and Strawberry wine at cost. I made trays for sandwiches. Church was a $50 deposit. Friend did the pictures and loaned a 1927 dodge to take them to reception. Reception in our yard with tents , Tabbles and caires rented. other Daughter used IPOD for music.All told about $700. mine 25 years ago was $300. Most people love to help at weddings if they can. Mine friends and relatives did photos, Cake, flowers and reception. It will be just as lovely and just as special.

[mandy_renee13158]

I think that we paid $250 . We actually won a radio contest last summer to get married at the Mall of America. The only thing that we had to pay for was the invitations, dress, tux, and marriage liscense. My aunt also got married at the same time, so she paid for the reception for both of us to have it together. My mom paid for my dress. And my husband and I worked at the same hotel and they hooked us up with a really nice suite at a radisson in the twin cities for our honey moon.

[yepwannasave]

Mine was in 2002 and we spent 14,000.00 They are very expensive I had over 120 guests and we had a ball it was just like the Cinderella story