Please Help--Money Issues

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Old 04-18-2008, 11:37 AM
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Please help--Money issues

I appreciate all of ya'lls help with every issue I have had and I read how you help and I try to help others in this AFC family. Any ideas or thoughts would be appreciated. I am in a terrible bind financially. I have been separated from my husband for almost 1 year. Before we were separated we signed a lease to a new apartment. Well, to make a long story short, after I left him he quit his job and stayed at the apartment all day long. I could not get him to sign me off the lease or have him sign himself off the lease. He was just bitter (we have always had an on again off again relationship, I just never had what it took to completly leave him). I could have afforded the apartment by myself, even with his job, he could not afford it. I went to the landlord and they completely understood where I was coming from but there was nothing they could do to help me. I ended up telling them to start the eviction process b/c I was not gonna pay for him to live in the apartment. So now I am being garnished for this at the rate of $650.00/month. I am a single mom and he is not paying child support on a regular basis. I have already filed a show cause and the judge threatened to throw him in jail if he did not pay regularly including the back support he owes. He was doing well for 2 weeks, but these last two weeks I have been shorted $115.00. If I go to file another show cause then I have to miss time from work to file, then I would have to miss time to show up to court for the hearing. I spent $400.00 on our daughters b-day party, he was supposed to pay half (guess what, he hasn't-that was in January). Our son's 1st b-day party is in 2 weeks and I ad vised him he needed to bring half of the food--instead of money b/c then I would be shorted on child support. He threw a fit saying he did not have the money. I don't care anymore, he works 1 job at $9.50/hr, he tries to say he is trying as hard as he can. I said, "No, if you were working 2 jobs and you still couldn't make it, I would agree that you are trying as hard as you can."

I have a wonderful BF now and he helps out tons, however, he only works 30ish hours per week b/c he is a full time student. We enrolled him b/f the garnishments started and we would have been OK with the money we were making. Needless to say, losing $650.00/month has been a drastic hit to us. I just don't know what I'm gonna do. We have not been to the grocery store in weeks. My mom watches the kids while I'm at work so I eat dinner there. I always make sure the kids have their food.

I'm sick and tired of this--the people garnished me b/c they said I had steady employment and I did not "job hop." This is over $7000.00 owed to them that is coming straight from my check. We can not make ends meet. It is not fair that he is getting away scot-free. I can't afford a lawyer for the divorce to try to get some of this money back--but if he can't even pay child support, how could I expect to get this money back?

I have been SO upset ALL day, I don't want to take my mood home to my kids. Does anyone have any suggestions or thoughts of what I can do? Thanks soooo much.
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  #2  
Old 04-18-2008, 11:49 AM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I don't understand how people can get away with things like that. I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't other than stay stong.
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:51 AM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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So they garnish you, but he pays nothing? How is that possible? I am assuming they took you to court to get your check garnished? Or I am reading this all wrong!
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:54 AM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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I refused to take off any more time from work(I am a supervisor and I CANNOT miss work-I start to get jumped on and the last thing I need is to lose my job) but the ex went(not like he had work to go to) and made sure they had my info. I figured they would split it between both of us.
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:58 AM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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I would DEFF be taking his butt to court and suing him for half of it then! or all! Since he doesn't pay child support! If he was on the lease, he LEGALLY has to pay too!
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Old 04-18-2008, 11:59 AM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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I'm sorry you are going through this. It certainly isn't fair. I'm glad you are here and can at least learn to stretch your grocery/h&b dollars as far as possible.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:05 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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Quote:
Originally Posted by EileenWolter View Post
I would DEFF be taking his butt to court and suing him for half of it then! or all! Since he doesn't pay child support! If he was on the lease, he LEGALLY has to pay too!
Oh, I plan on taking him to court for the child support-- I just have to find time to get to the courthouse. I work 8:15-4:45. I missed a lot of work this year and the end of last year due to the separation and the apartment issue. I just cannot afford an attorney to take him to court for my half. There are other money issues as well. We borrowed money from my mom and sister and I guess he doesn't think he needs to pay half now. These were marital debts we borrowed it together. But since I am the one who asked for the money from my family they are expecting ME to pay the back and go after him somehow to get my part back. Again I tell my family--I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY THEM HIS HALF (I paid them both my half with tax money). I am tired of being responsible for his irresponsibility--that is why I finally left. I'm just emotionally exhausted and financially I don't know where my next meal is coming from (if at all). Again, I want to reinterate that my children ALWAYS have their food. I can go without a 7 year old and my 11.5 month old can't.

I have just wanted to cry all day.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:06 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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If both your names were on the lease, I would think it should come from both of you?
Wish I had advice, but all I have is
Hope all works out soon
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:11 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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Stay strong first off. Secondly, you might be able to get free legal advice from a law school. Don't they have law students that help for no fees in some states? Anyone know where she might possibly get a lawyer pro bono?
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:15 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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Quote:
Originally Posted by wendy1214 View Post
If both your names were on the lease, I would think it should come from both of you?
Wish I had advice, but all I have is
Hope all works out soon
The landlord doesn't care as long as they get their money. I have already went round after round with them--they can't even split it in half and bill both of us. I just don't know.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:16 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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What about government help? It's there for people that NEED it, until they can get on their feet better. It's probably not what you want to do, neither would I, but sometimes, sadly you have to do what you have to do.


*hugs* I am sorry hun!
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:18 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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That's right, if he signed the lease just as you did legally he is liable to pay them back. The convience of getting there money was through garnishment of your check, but just because he does not have a job has nothing to do with it. My advice to you is get some type of PRO BONO legal help and have this decision evaluated again.
It amazes me how some men and women use excuses for not providing for their kids. I couldn't even imagine.
I pray that you are able to get the help you need and deserve. I know about the child support thing (my 13 yr. DD) and it's sad what you have to go through to get someone to take care of their responsibility.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:19 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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I make too much money for gov't assistance--but once health, dental, 401K, life ins, taxes, and now garnishment I'm only bringing home $675.00 biweekly. I just can't live on that for a family of 3.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:22 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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I am so sorry this happened to you. Just remember what comes around goes around. Just remember to document and keep all financial documents showing all the payments, garnishments, medical expenses (kids), etc. that you are paying. When the time comes around when you can file for divorce you will have this information and maybe the judge will require him to pay for half of everything. Try applying for food stamps. Check with your chaplain or contact one. They deal with a lot of issues and may have contacts or resources that may be able to help you out. I know it may seem really hard now, but things will get better, just keep your head up!!! Not sure if this website can help, but it's worth checking out.

VaLegalAid.org - Civil legal information in Virginia

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Old 04-18-2008, 12:28 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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I would suggest Food stamps,welfare,Wic Medicare (for the kids)
Start with this hun..Sometimes we have to shallow our pride to be able to survive in this hard cruel world.
I would def. look into legal aid. You could probably get some help thru them and not pay as much out of pocket or anything at all.
Don't forget craigslist..You could also barter your time for perhaps a lawyer's time . It may or maynot work but you will never know unless you try hun.... Call the local foodbanks and try to get yourself some help. Trust me we all at some point have used it.
Sell some of your stockpile/other stuff . Extra CASH!!
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:35 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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$650/month for your garnishment~~WOW~~even though you make too much money for government assistance I would look too your county for legal advice. Generally, every county has some sort of free legal advice for its residents with situations like this.

I would also spend some time contacting the attorney's office who is processing your garnishments through your employer. I'm surprised they couldn't arrange payment plans before the garnishment happened. Usually a garnishment is the last step to get their judgment satisfied. Generally a payment plan is a better option because there are a lot of "fees" involved in garnishing your paychecks. It's also a gigantic pain in the butt for your employer.

When you contact the attorney who is representing the apartment complex explain your situation and offer to set up a payment plan instead of doing the garnishments. Something you can afford (but be reasonable considering the size of the debt). If they do not agree simply imply that it would be cheaper for you to quit your job and go on public assistance at this point (though we both know these aren't your plans)~~if that does happen their client would be out $650/month~they can't garnish your employer if you don't have one~this will make a payment plan much more appealing to them.

Keep in mind~~it's very important that if this does happen you need to faithfully make your agreed upon payments. If you back out it's back to garnishing your wages....and they can also garnish your bank account!!!
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:41 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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You really need to talk to a lawyer. I'd go talk with one for their initial free visit and explain your situation to them, and if they can't do it they might refer you to someone who will take your case pro bono. The rental mgmt company cannot make you pay for the whole kit and kaboodle if both names are on the lease.
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:46 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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Maybe try to post an ad on craiges list looking for a Pro-bono lawyer----explain that you are single mom to 3 .....

Also keep at it for the child support. It might take you 10 years but you'll get it!

Im so sorry your going through all this
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Old 04-18-2008, 12:47 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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At this point there's a judgment against everyone on the lease. The attorney for the apartment complex is garnishing whoever has money to satisfy the judgment. They don't care if it comes from one person or not. Unfortunately the loser husband doesn't have a job so she will continue to be garnished until it's paid off or until the loser husband gets a job so he can be garnished too~~or until she can get an attorney to help her out.
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Rescue a pet today~~they'll be forever grateful

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  #20  
Old 04-18-2008, 12:49 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

LauraO's Avatar
is searching high and low for Pampers Points!
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Do you have RME? (Revolution Money Exchange?) If you sign up for that, you get 25.00 free, and I'll donate my 10.00 referral bonus to you if you want to do that. Then, you just request a check from RME. They will deduct 2.50 for having to send you the check, and you will end up with 33.00 in your pocket. Then, you can start referring people to RME, and you get 10.00 each time you do. I hope this is something that can help you. PM me if you're interested, and I'll tell you how to get signed up.
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Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now!"
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Last edited by LauraO; 06-12-2008 at 10:07 PM.
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  #21  
Old 04-18-2008, 12:51 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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Thank you so much everyone. I am emotionally exhausted right now. I will start looking into your ideas first thing in the morning. It is 4:00 in VA and most gov't places are closing.
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  #22  
Old 04-18-2008, 12:57 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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fished cutting coupons and is organizing them
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sending you a pm-it may take a few please read

Just sent it!

Last edited by NoahsMomma; 04-18-2008 at 01:12 PM. Reason: added
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  #23  
Old 04-18-2008, 01:15 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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Thanks again for all of your support. In addition to all of this BS, I have a 7 year old autistic daughter and school is horrible this year. I think it is the teacher who doesn't know how to work with a child like Nicole. Also, my almost 1 year old has not been officially diagnosed as delayed, but the Infant and Toddler connection evaluated him and found him in need of services. He will see a developmental pedicatrician next month. There is just so much on my plate right now and I know God won't give you more than you can handle but he certainly is pressing it right now . Between meetings with school, dr's appts for the baby it is so hard for me to get time off from work to deal with things. AHHHHHHHH. I do believe it will work out, I only wish it was working out right now!!
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  #24  
Old 04-18-2008, 03:15 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

scrapnladybug's Avatar
is saving as many $'s as possible; so she doesn't have to get a real job :)
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You mentioned in one of your previous post about contributions to 401K. Is it possible that you could take a hardship loan or withdrawl from this account? You could check with your employer.

You could also check with a local church. Many churches have food pantries, and are willing to help people even if you aren't a member of the church.

Here is a link to the income guidelines for WIC in VA:

Virginia Department of Health
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  #25  
Old 04-18-2008, 03:27 PM

RE: Please help--Money issues

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i really wish i had an advice for you... stay strong.
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