Can I Vent Alittle.... Why Isn't This Exciting To Anyone Else?

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Old 11-18-2008, 08:25 AM
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Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

So.... I know that second babies aren't generally 'celebrated' as much but I'm really down for some reason about all this.
I am estatic that we are having this baby- even more so that we didn't have to go through 2 years of fertility treaments and miscarriages to get this child... but yet most of the people around me could care less. Even our own families aren't really 'celebrating' and are buying all kinds of things for our DD who is 2 for becoming a 'big sister' but nadda for the baby.. its just weird to me.

People at my own church didn't even know I was pg till the last week or so- and I have 2 months left!! ?? Its just very strange to me.

Maybe I'm over reacting or its just pg hormones, but why don't people get as excited about the 2nd or 3rd or 4th child? Why are showers, and parties limited to the first one?

sorry for going off, I just had to get these 'emotions' out there... maybe some of the other AFC pg ladies can tell me how they feel or if its just me...

Hugs to all my pg friends out there- espeically those feeling neglected!
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  #2  
Old 11-18-2008, 08:31 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Old 11-18-2008, 08:34 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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OMG! I TOTALLY understand! I was devastated that noone seemed to care at all about the births of my second two! There was no excitement at all, no gifts(other than my parents), it was like an everyday occurence. It hurt my feelings horribly. So I know where you are coming from. Just know that everyone here DOES care and we will all celebrate with you!

YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!!!
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:36 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Here's what happened with ours and one side of their grandparents, not mine they celebrated each baby the same. Our 1st got a $2,000 College Savings Fund from his grandparents, 2nd a Baby Gap Gift Set and 3rd not a **** thing. I feel for you. Just celebrate the baby yourself, forget about the rest of them!

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Old 11-18-2008, 08:40 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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I completely understand! My heart goes out to you! But please know that your AFC family is very excited and can't wait to hear about the birth of this beloved child!!!
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:41 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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I know how you feel. Our baby #3 is a total unexpected miracle and most people we know are totally nonchalant about it. It's strange but what can you do? WE are happy, WE are excited and I guess that's what matters most.

YAY for babies due in January!!!!!!!!! Congrats to you!!
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:42 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Oh that really sucks. I only have one DS right now and he was the first grandchild for my side so everyone was so excited.

We are thinking about having anoter and I can't imagine everyone not being excited. That would totally suck...

I know that you only have a shower for the first because you are just starting out and don't have anything where I guess by the second you are pretty set. And back n the day people didn't know what they were having so there was a lot of yellow and green clothes...so you could use it with either./..,I can't imagine if I had a girl...everything we have is blue...I guess our little girl will be dressed in blue...
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:45 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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That sucks! Esp. since you had to go through so much to get preggo. I am sorry they are acting this way. OUr families were wonderful and still are about all births. I would speak up about your feelings, they may not realize what they are doing and how much it hurts you. You know we will always be there for you.
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:45 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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I know what you mean! It's that way now for me....this is my THIRD and it makes me so sad. Good thing though....I have friends who are very non-traditional and insist on giving Jacob a party too! So at least a little celebration for him!

to you both!!
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:46 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Yes! We here at AFC are excited. I thought I was preggo too with #2 (DS is 2 next mo) but am not.
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:46 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Oh that really sucks. I only have one DS right now and he was the first grandchild for my side so everyone was so excited.

We are thinking about having anoter and I can't imagine everyone not being excited. That would totally suck...

I know that you only have a shower for the first because you are just starting out and don't have anything where I guess by the second you are pretty set. And back n the day people didn't know what they were having so there was a lot of yellow and green clothes...so you could use it with either./..,I can't imagine if I had a girl...everything we have is blue...I guess our little girl will be dressed in blue...
This is totally us... first grandchild on both sides and so our DD was SHOWERED and spoiled.
This is the first BOY though- so yes we are set in the 'big' items but we have all pink things. Luickly I do have plenty of friends who had boys who have graciously handed down their boys clothes, but I don't want him to get all 'used' things you know? Anyways- again... I"m just ranting this morning.
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:48 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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That is really sad - every baby is a miracle and should be celebrated especially when you've waited so long. Just so you know, I am very glad for all of you!
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:50 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Hey...first of all COngrats....no matter what number the baby is, its just as important as the first....so our thoughts are with you here at AFC, we are a BIG family...So you keep us posted..Good luck..What are you having anyway...

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Old 11-18-2008, 08:57 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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I'm sure it can be frustrating but all that matters is how much YOU celebrate your children. There will always be people who don't care because "you've already had one, you know what to expect." But every birth, every conception, every child is a miracle and should be celebrated whether he/she is #1, 5, or even 25!!

Congratulations!! All of us at AFC are excited for you and can't wait for your little guy to make his grand entrance!
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Old 11-18-2008, 08:57 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Really I don't think the baby cares if it is hand me downs...

DS got a lot of clothes at my shower but they were all 0-3 and 3-6 very little anything else...then I got a ton of hand me downs (sisters friend had twin boys so 2 of everything)...my son is 18 months now and I don't think I have spent more then like $30 on clothes for him...he does get some gifts for b-day xmas but mostly he wears hand me downs...and until he starts complaning about it he will continue wearing them...I'd rther put the money away to take him on vacation or college savings...

congrats on the baby...Jan is a great month (I was born Jan 27th...anyone due near there?)
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:00 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Really I don't think the baby cares if it is hand me downs...

I agree, the BABY doesn't care......but, as I'm sure you'll agree, the MOMMY cares! It's fun to get new stuff for each baby, especially when you're still PG. It just makes everything that much more exciting!
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:01 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Originally Posted by ahernandez View Post
Really I don't think the baby cares if it is hand me downs...

DS got a lot of clothes at my shower but they were all 0-3 and 3-6 very little anything else...then I got a ton of hand me downs (sisters friend had twin boys so 2 of everything)...my son is 18 months now and I don't think I have spent more then like $30 on clothes for him...he does get some gifts for b-day xmas but mostly he wears hand me downs...and until he starts complaning about it he will continue wearing them...I'd rther put the money away to take him on vacation or college savings...

congrats on the baby...Jan is a great month (I was born Jan 27th...anyone due near there?)
True... Jan 27 is my ACTUAL due date! how crazy is that!!!
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:05 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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First I want to say that we are all excited that you are having a baby. Each one is a miracle.

My DD was the first girl and got showered. My DS was the second grandson and got alot of hand me downs, which I could of cared less about. Then the rest of the grandkids followed.

I think that people are less likely to shower with gifts since you should have most everything and you know what to expect.

I know that when my DD is married and starts a family, that I will shower each baby the same. I will also do the same for my DIL if she will let me.

Congrats!
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:07 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Originally Posted by kristieboyd View Post
I agree, the BABY doesn't care......but, as I'm sure you'll agree, the MOMMY cares! It's fun to get new stuff for each baby, especially when you're still PG. It just makes everything that much more exciting!
That is when Mommy goes out and shops.
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:08 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Thanks everyone for your kind words and most of all for letting me 'get my feelings out' without being bashed
I know that this child is just as special and I can't wait to meet this little guy. My Dh and I couldn't be more thrilled than we are, and I knwo that it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks or does or doesn't do. . . We are VERY happy and this boy will be SO loved, and that's all that really matters.

thanks again everyone.. . 10 weeks and counting for me.
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:08 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kmchamplin View Post
That is when Mommy goes out and shops.
Which this mommy has done a LOT of! (just as DH!) It's a good thing I did so much earlier....looks like my shopping trips are over for a while!
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:09 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kmchamplin View Post
That is when Mommy goes out and shops.
Your right. And I am VERY VERY VERY thankful for my friends who have given me their hand me downs. I really don't know what we'd done without that. We don't have money to buy everything new clothing and blanket and other 'boy' things wise. . . so I'm grateful for that, please don't think I'm not.
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:12 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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I'm really cheap as my son also wore alot of his sister's clothes like onsies and sleepers. No one was going to see him in them. We did this until he was around 2 or 3 yrs.
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:12 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Congratulations on your second baby.

Maybe they were just extra excited the first time since it seemed like it wasn't going to happen (since you said you had problems concieving the first time). also maybe since it is near the holidays people are pre-occupied with that?

I kind of had the opposite problem. When number 2 was born my son was no longer "the baby" and got a lot less attention from some people.

I think people will still give you clothes once the baby is born. We never had a shower for the 2nd and third but a lot of people gave us new clothes anyway. I think the shower is more about cribs, cradels, strollers, etc. Big ticket items that you should have no problem using again.
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  #25  
Old 11-18-2008, 09:13 AM

RE: Can I vent alittle.... why isn't this exciting to anyone else?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lpurvis08 View Post
Your right. And I am VERY VERY VERY thankful for my friends who have given me their hand me downs. I really don't know what we'd done without that. We don't have money to buy everything new clothing and blanket and other 'boy' things wise. . . so I'm grateful for that, please don't think I'm not.
Never even crossed my mind that you weren't grateful. It is just the vent that you had to do as it is hard to accept. Just remember that we all love new babies here if they were the first or the 10th.
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