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Domino.com has party ideas. We have used the tea party place cards. My girls used to love to have tea parties. We are very frugal for birthdays. When my daughter was turning 4 she just wanted her friends to come over and play Barbie. We found Barbies for $2 on Black Friday plus the outfits were cheap. Each kid got a Barbie or Ken and outfit as their goodie.
After putting on their fancy thrift shop clothes, have them do a runway fashion show and the parents can be the paparazzi. We also had a party where the moms and daughters did each other's makeup (all purchased with coupons). Too much fun. As far as cupcakes, just put out naked ones and then some frosting and sprinkles and let them decorate their own.
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